Loss of Control
by ThePandoricaWillOpen
Summary: "Their lips separated, a sigh erupting from Alexander's mouth and their bodies pressed together further. And then, the dream was over." After a dream that he can't get out of his head, Alexander begins to realize that he has feelings for his best friend
1. Chapter 1

_Name: Loss of Control _

_Note: Part one is also in my 'Alexander and Hepheastion drabbles' story. This is rated M for mature scenes, the rest of the chapters may vary._

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><p><strong><em>Loss of Control<em>**

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><p><em>When the pair of lips came crashing down to his, Alexander lost control. His entire life had been about control. <em>Control your actions in public, boy,_ his father used to tell him, _if you are to be the next king_. But all that and more was lost when Hephaestion, his faithful, wonderful, beautiful best friend, and second in command, brushed his hand upon his thigh, his eyes full of mischief. For a moment, Alexander thought it'd been an accident, which occurred naturally in an enclosed space such as they were in. But when it happened again and again and he found himself needing –no, wanting- the touch, he knew something was wrong. With a questioning look, he turned to Hephaestion. Before he knew what had happened, a pair of lips, confident and soft, came crashing down on his own. For the second time that day, he thought it was an accident; surely that was what it was. Hephaestion had slipped and their faces ended up together in what could only be a mistaken ki- was that a tongue trying to open his lips?_

_With a noise he'd never admit to making, Alexander opened his mouth and brought his hand to Hephaestion's neck, tilting the brunets head back slightly. For his part, Hephaestion smiled in their kiss, his eyes opening slightly, letting their sharp blue colour assure Alexander that he wanted this, before closing and leaning further into the prince. Alexander had never before been kissed, something he'd never admit, but he felt in his desire that this kiss, this wondrous spectacle, could never compare to another lips. The feel of Hephaestion's, his Phae's, lips under his was heavenly. His hand, which now sneaked higher on his thigh, left a hot trail on Alexander's skin that matched that which he felt on his lips._

_Alexander pulled away and Hephaestion unwillingly let him move away. He brought a hand up to his lips, his eyes on Hephaestion, and felt a smile coming on. Hephaestion smiled back, his eyes shone brilliantly as he stood and went to stand in front of his prince. Alexander remained quiet, his fingers still traced his lips, and stared into the two blue orbs that were Hephaestion's eyes. He saw nothing but love radiating from them and, without a second thought, he closed the space between them with a kiss._

_Hephaestion returned the kiss and, arm wrapping around Alexander's waist, pulled the blond closer. Alexander sighed hungrily as their bodies collided and he was pushed back, uncomfortably, on the floor where they'd been sitting. Everything was forgotten when Hephaestion's body fell atop him over, the heat of his body feeling wonderful against him. He brought a up to take a fistful of Hephasition's chiton, rocking their, now aching, erections together. A shiver passed through Alexander's body as he felt his body react to the general as his hips rolled on top of Alexander's body. Their lips separated, a sigh erupting from Alexander's mouth and their bodies pressed together further._

_And then, it was over. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Name: Loss of Control _

_Note: Part Two_

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><p><strong><em>Loss of Control<em>**

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><p>Alexander woke up with a start. Sweat poured from his forehead and made the sheets from his bed cling to his body. He rubbed his throbbing head and sighed. He was painfully hard from his strange dream that ended way too soon. Curse his dirty mind for his dirty thoughts about the only person who he cared for the most in the world. Hephaestion, his strong and ever caring friend for whom he wished he was more to that just his prince. He wanted to be his king, his friend, and one and only lover. However, that was not going to happen because he was a prince and Hephaestion merely one of his schoolboy friends.<p>

Curse his light sleeping habits and his inability to remaining asleep when battle was happening the next day. Well perhaps not a warring battle but a meeting with the generals usually ended either in a brawl or in drinks that eventually ended in a brawl. All these thoughts lead him to what he'd dreamt, the dirty imaginings that could never happen because Hephaestion didn't see him that way.

Hephaestion didn't see the way Alexander automatically changed his posture whenever he entered the room. How his world brightened just a bit when he met the dark haired, blue-eyed Athenian's eyes. He didn't feel the way Alexander's stomach would churn when they spoke or how he held his breath when they were alone. Hephaestion didn't see him later in his room while he jacked off after having wrestled together. He didn't see how much Alexander needed him, wanted him.

Alexander was about to disentangle himself from his confines when the one and only Hephaestion burst through his door, guards at his feet. Alexander raised an arm to signal the soldiers who quickly left and tried to breathe as he met the blue eyes of his dreams.

"Are you alright, Alexander? I heard screams," Hephaestion said, his eyebrows knit together in worry. "I thought you sounded... strange."

_Was that amusement that passed through those beautiful eyes of his,_ Alexander thought as he got up from his bed. Straightening himself, he took a careful step to his best friend and said, "I am fine, Phai, merely a dream."

"A dream and not a nightmare had you screaming and moaning?"

"Y-yes," Alexander replied. "It was a rather complicated dream and I awoke with a start, that is all."

"If you say so," Hephaestion replied, unconvinced. "I'll see you in the morning, then."

"Yes," Alexander whispered out as Hephaestion left his room. He threw himself back onto his bed and sighed. He was never going to get the one person he wanted the most. Hephaestion.


	3. Chapter 3

_Title: The Loss of Control _

_Word count: ~600_

_Rating: PG_

_Beta: OhSlashy_

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><p>Morning came faster than usual. Perhaps it was that he couldn't get back to sleep after the scene he'd caused last night or the thought that Hephaestion would be there as he always was, waiting for him so they could walk to the breakfast hall together. They had classes together, training together, everything together. It was only at night, after dinner, that Hephaestion left him. Hephaestion left him to his own thoughts, his own <em>erotic thoughts. <em>Erotic dreams that sometimes left his blushing for days on end. Dreams that would never become a reality; Hephaestion was just his friend and nothing more.

Alexander walked out of his room, guards on his heels, and made his way to the hall for breakfast. Arriving, he sat down and waited. His father, the king, was already there, deep into his cups it seemed, and paid little attention to him. Generals were also there, his mother, and some of their guests as well. Hephaestion, however, was not. He looked around the big hall at the other tables but nowhere did he see his friend.

"Mother, where is Hephaestion?" he asked his mother softly, his eyes still examining the hall. His mother looked around the hall too, her eyes searching before returning to Alexander's.

"I do not know, son. I do not see him," she replied. "Perhaps you should go find him."

"I can't just leave so soon after arriving," he said, his eyes glancing at his father. "It is not kingly."

"It may not be _kingly_," she spat out, her eyes glaring at the king. "But it is necessary. Go, my son, I shall deal with your father."

Alexander smiled at his mother and got up from his seat to go in search of his friend. As he exited the room, his guards scrambling to catch up, he heard his father yelling behind him only to be interrupted by his mother who was calmly, although rudely, explaining where Alexander was going.

He ran through the hallways going straight for Hephaestion's room on the other side of the palace. Good thing it wasn't farther than that or Alexander didn't feel like he could take it. He ran as fast as he could until he saw the door and the page outside of it. He stopped running and tried to control his breathing, which was shallow, before sidestepping the page and entering the room. The page however had other ideas and managed to put up a skinny arm to stop him before he could fully enter it.

"What is the meaning of this?" he yelled, stepping back. "Unhand me!"

The page lowered his arm but stepped in front of him, blocking his way into the room. "I am sorry, my liege, but master Amyntor does not wish to see anyone."

"Do you know who I am?" Alexander asked with as much arrogance as he could. "I'm prince Alexander of Macedonia!"

"He asked ... he said not to let you pass, specifically, sir."

Alexander stared at the young man, incredulous. Hephaestion had asked ... he had asked Alexander to not be let in? Why? The page shrugged as if hearing his thoughts but didn't move. Without another word Alexander left, his chest heaving as he tried to calm himself enough to tell himself that there had to be a reasonable, logical answer to this. Hephaestion had to have a reason for not wanting to see his best friend after he'd barged into his room just hours before.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Loss of Control

Chapter 4

Beta: OhSlashy

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><p>Later that day, as Alexander came home from training, which Hephaestion had missed along with the days classes, he found himself going straight to his room. He dismissed all his guards, servants and tutors and decided to go to bed to sulk. Today had been one of the most boring, most lonely days of his existence. All day he found himself staring at the place where Hephaestion usually sat or turning to whisper something only to find his side empty.<p>

What made it worst was that at though out the day the adults asked him where Hephaestion was. He tried to reply as cordially and calmly as he could but on the inside he felt his heart clench and anger boil with every sympathetic look they gave him. Everyone knew the two boys were inseparable and only having one of them present was a big deal. Alexander didn't understand what the fuss was about, on the outside. On the inside he was counting the minutes until his day was over and he would have the chance to be alone in his room. Alone to be able to cry or punch something for having driven his best friend away, as irrational as that sounded even to himself.

There had to be a good reason for Hephaestion avoidance of him. Alexander had to have done something horrible without knowing and it'd upset Hephaestion enough for him to not want to see or speak to him. But he didn't know what that thing was. They had barely spoken beyond those few words in his bedroom and, even then, Alexander had just denied having a _wet_ dream about him. But how would have Hephaestion have known that? There was no way and therefore that was not the reason.

He curled up in bed, his legs pulled up to his chest, and sighed. He stared at the wall, unblinking, until his eyes burned and he had to close them. Stinging tears that rolled down his cheeks. This was the only way he was going to allow himself to cry, by staring at the wall and having a logical reason for doing so should someone come into his room. He turned away from the door and lay on his stomach, burying his face in his pillows. He shouldn't be crying but his body didn't seem to get the memo.

Yes, his best friend had ditched him for a day, banned him from his room, and practically shunned him. But that wasn't something to cry about, was it? Alexander didn't know anymore, he merely cried, keeping an ear out for anyone approaching his room.

"Phai..." he whimpered shakily. "My Phai..."

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><p>Hephaestion lay in bed, not really sure of what he was doing. All morning, as instructed by the Queen, he'd remained in his room. His servants and tutors would come to him for his food and studies but other than that he was to be locked in his room. He'd been sketching a rather interesting portrait of a man with curls and bright eyes when a noise from outside his door startled him. It was Alexander, yelling in his kingly way, at his page. Hephaestion hid behind the wall, ear pressed against it to hear what was going on.<p>

"I am sorry, my liege, but master Amyntor does not wish to see anyone," his page was saying, a slight tremor to his voice. _When did I request that?_ Hephaestion stopped himself from leaving his room, it was his Queen's orders after all, and continued to listen.

"Do you know who I am?" Alexander asked the page, his voice deepening in an arrogant way. Hephaestion knew that voice and so he knew what words his best friend was going to use next. "I'm prince Alexander of Macedonia!"

He knew his friend too well, it seemed. Hephaestion smiled to himself, waiting for the page to let Alexander in for the sake of his life if nothing else. He ran a hand through his hair, combing it back and making sure it was set the way Alexander liked it, and smoothed out his clothes, rumpled from his sitting position. He waited, a smile on his lips, for Alexander's mop of blond hair to appear in the doorway, a terrified page behind him.

"He asked ... he said not to let **you** pass, specifically, sir." The page still sounded terrified but there was sadness in his voice that Hephaestion knew was from watching those deep brown eyes widen with sadness.

He expected Alexander to rush past the page and go into his room, demanding answers. He also expected himself to rush out, push his page aside and embrace his best friend. But neither happened. His body was locked in place, his hand frozen at the hem of his tunic, as he heard Alexander leave. Many emotions passed through him, most prominent were hurt and anger. Did Alexander think him that petty to not see him when something was wrong?

Never, not in millions of years, would Hephaestion deny him entrance to his room. Even thinking about it made Hephaestion feel wrong. He might not have voiced this to his best friend but there was a part of him that loved Alexander more than just on the friendship level. He loved him more than he loved his family, more than he even loved himself. His life revolved around Alexander and that, sometimes, scared him.

Even right now, remaining in his room whilst Alexander walked around the mansion thinking he was not wanted, Hephaestion yearned to be with him. To feel the light hair on Alexander's arm brush against his as they walk. To feel Alexander's breath on his ear as he whispered a joke or an observation during class. To feel Alexander's whole body touch his during wrestling.

But he couldn't, instead he held in all his emotions and sat back down to continue to sketch. He stared down at his drawing, smiling as he recognized whom it was he was thinking about as he absent-mindedly drew. Running a finger over the locks of hair he had so intricately drawn and the full lips that almost looked real he wished it were the real thing that he was touching.

"Alexander..."


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: Loss of Control: Chapter Five

**Beta**: None. All mistakes are my own.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but a DVD and a dream.

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><p>It was nearly a week before Alexander saw Hephaestion again. He'd appeared in the dinning hall for breakfast, not meeting anyone's eye and quickly finishing his food. He'd been the first one in class, catching up on work he'd missed from the teacher. He was the first to leave class; right after being dismissed he'd rushed out of the room before anyone even had the chance to look up. It was an odd thing for Hephaestion to do; he was one of the smartest in the class and usually had follow-up questions after class. It was also strange because he never left without Alexander in tow, a fact not missed by everyone whose eyes turned to Alexander as soon as Hephaestion was out view.<p>

Alexander smiled at his classmates, standing up straight as an arrow and walking out of the room without another look. On the outside, he walked as slow as he dared given that everyone was probably talking about him and still staring as he walked off. On the inside, his heart was beating as slow as it dared and his breathing had left him. He tried to inhale deeply but all the air caused were tears to form in his brown eyes, sad tears that Hephaestion saw from a small opening in his room as Alexander walked by.

The prince went to his room, too distracted to notice a pair of blue eyes following him as he did. He also failed to notice Hephaestion hiding around corners and pressing against walls in an effort to stealthily make follow him. Once in his room, after throwing out his page and servants, he collapsed on his bed face first. This had been as awful as not knowing where Hephaestion was. Being ignored hurt as much as not seeing his lovely blue eyes and his long brown locks of hair falling down his sculptured face.

Sometimes, when he was feeling rather emotional, he thanked the Gods for giving his a gift. He truly believed Hephaestion was his and he was Hephaestion. It was a situation that very much mirrored that of Achilles and Patroklus. Except they had yet to take the final step and, as much as Alexander tried to pretend otherwise, he was eager to take that step.

He wanted to feel Hephaestion's lips against his. Would they be soft and wet like a girl or rough and dry like a boy? Or would they be an entire new sensation? In his dreams, they were always soft, pliant but rough as they reached their peak. His hands were calloused but the way his fingers traced Alexander's skin was beyond a simple caress.

In his dreams, they were together forever, never apart and never separated.

There were other dreams where they fought a nasty battle and Hephaestion was hurt badly. Alexander dismounted his horse, right in the midst of battle, and ran to his lover. He swore to Hephaestion they would die together and just as he was about to take his final breath, leaning down to kiss him one final time, Alexander plunged a knife into his chest. Those dreams woke him up in a state of fright and sadness.

One day they would have to go into battle and face whatever madness was out in the world. Some day one of them would die and the other will be left alone to carry the grief. He sincerely hoped Hephaestion didn't leave him first, he didn't think he could handle burying his heart and soul.

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><p>There was quite sobbing coming from Alexander's rooms that had Hephaestion abandon his stealthy maneuvers and burst through the doors. He knew it was a mistake a moment later when Alexander sat up in bed, hastily throwing the covers over himself and turning to him with wide eyes. Tears fell down the prince's face as their eyes met and Hephaestion uttered an apology.<p>

He didn't expect the prince to nod and bid him forward. Closing the door behind him, Hephaestion went to Alexander's side. He was motioned to sit on the bed and, taking in Alexander's poor state, Hephaestion went around and climbed in next to him. He'd done this many times, comfort his future king. Yet this time it felt different.

It had been a week since they'd last laid eyes on each other, longer than any time prior. Hephaestion had begun to become slowly insane with each passing minute that he spent in his room, caged up like a fugitive awaiting execution. He hated the thought of leaving Alexander alone especially in their studies where his vulture classmates might try to sway him to their views. Hephaestion knew Alexander could care for himself, but there was always a chance that he found another companion in the midst of traitorous snakes in their class.

Hephaestion pulled Alexander closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and rubbing circles on his forearm with the pad of his thumb. He knew Alexander found comfort in the small touch. The prince curled up to him slowly, first by putting his head on Hephaestion's chest and then by entwining his legs with him. They had laid like this countless times, the touch of their skin felt so _right_. Sometimes Hephaestion was scared to move and break the spell and so he would lie on Alexander's bed while he slept in the same position for hours on end.

Soon enough, Alexander had stopped crying and had fallen into a deep sleep. His hand came up to the blonde hair, caressing the soft hair and raking his fingers through the locks. It was something Hephaestion liked to do while Alexander slept, touch his mop of blonde hair and hear a little sigh come from those pink lips.

On some nights, he would imagine they had just finished pleasuring each other. He would take great care in the way he held Alexander, putting his hand on the small of his back, propping himself up on one elbow to take a look at the prince's pouting lips as they parted when he slept.

Other times, like tonight, Alexander would press his lips down on Hephaestion's chest, giving him a quick kiss. He would reciprocate by snuggling closer to the boy-king and kissing the op of his head. Hephaestion loved those times because they said that maybe, just _maybe_, Alexander felt the same way towards him. Those small kisses, twenty in the last year alone, made his heart stop and his mind swell with infinite possibilities of their future.

It would all end in the morning however, when Alexander would wake up and push himself away from Hephaestion as if he were a servant who'd climb into his bed at night. He would leave Alexander then, his eyes on the ground so that he wouldn't see the tears pooling in his eyes. He would leave him to dress and, by the time breakfast came around, everything was forgotten. They would share a bed at night and the cycle would continue. But perhaps this separation had changed things. Maybe Alexander had missed him as much as Hephaestion had. He would have to wait until morning to find out.

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><p><strong>I made a schedule, setting a day for each story i'm writing. This Fic has been set for Mondays but I was busy yesterday with Star Trek so I didn't post. Every monday, starting next week, expect at least one upload.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: Loss of Control: Chapter Six

**Beta**: None. All mistakes are my own.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but a DVD and a dream.

**Note:** This chapter is short because of two reasons. One, its letters sent between A and H. Two, I have a headache, still. I'm baking cookies and whatnot to try to relief some stress and see if it goes away. If it does, I'll upload again tonight.

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><p>Dear Hephaestion,<p>

I miss talking with you and I miss being with you. What happened the other night while you climbed into bed with me, staying with me the entire night, was the nicest thing anyone has ever done. But that doesn't deter from the fact that while awake, you seem to avoid me at all cost. Have I done something wrong? Have I upset you for any reason?

- A.

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><p><em>Dear Alexander,<em>

_ I too have missed talking with you but alas I cannot, at least not in public. I have been ordered by someone rather menacing to have no communications with you for a few months. I hope we can talk alone, late at night perhaps, but while in the presence of others we much act civil and as if we barely knew one another._

_ I have been thinking about you, if its not to bold of me to say, almost nightly. I miss looking into your eyes and finding a battle storm waiting to be unleashed; I miss our jousting both in the classroom and out. I miss... our friendship as if it was my own heart being carved out of my chest. _

_ With deep regret and sorrow, _

_ H_

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><p>Hephaestion,<p>

Who dares order you around, friend? Who dares threaten you? Tell me and I shall deal with it!

We may indeed speak whenever you wish to. You are always welcomed in my chamber, day or night, for whatever reason. I will be here waiting for you, always.

I noticed you didn't answer my questions from my first letter, does that mean you are sore at me? Or did you simply forget?

It is not bold of you to say, friend, you may say anything you wish to me. I have done so for as long as we've known each other and I would hope you knew already to speak your mind. I will not judge you for anything; I will accept anything you tell me.

- A.

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><p><em>A,<em>

_I am scribbling this quickly in class as you orally spar with a fellow classmate. I read your last letter and wish to say that no, i am not sore at you. I only hoped that the message would be conveyed to you by my last sentiments. Either way, I am watching you while writing this and I have to say, you have never looked better._

_Your form is perfect, your voice is strong and confident, your thoughts very well organized and your arguments are solid. You will make an excellent, cunning and wonderful king._

_yours,_

_H_

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><p><em>A,<em>

_I have not heard from you in a while, is there something wrong?_

_H_

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><p><em>Alexander this is insane! Will you please respond to me, I am beyond worried at this point and hope that I have done nothing to upset you. Please, I beg you, respond to me.<em>

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><p>Hephaestion,<p>

Meet me in my room this evening during dinner, I wish to convey my apology then. We shall wine and dine together, for your birthday.

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><p><em>Alexander,<em>

_My birthday is not for months, but i shall meet you there. :)_


	7. Chapter 7

**Title**: Loss of Control: Chapter Six

**Beta**: None. All mistakes are my own.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but a DVD and a dream.

**Note:** short because ... my muse is out for the day, sorry.

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><p>They had been exchanging letter through their pages for nearly a week when Alexander made a decision. He made a plan and began to execute it by not responding to Hephaestion's letters.<p>

At first, it was no big deal. Hephaestion acted like he always did and they spoke only when they had to and they avoided eye contact. It was as if they'd never met, and it made Alexander feel so empty.

But he continued his plan until the following week when Hephaestion's letter began to worry him. The brunet had begun to send multiple letters a day, each detailing different parts of his day. It was almost like diary entries that he made out as letters to Alexander.

The prince didn't respond, however, and so, as Hephaestion's letters continued, the more _needy_ his words got. He wasn't pleading for Alexander to answer, not yet but at the rate he was going, three letters per day, he soon would be.

Step two was ignoring him further in public. No longer did he search out the blue eyes that kept him up at night. No longer did they share 'moments' during class or lunch or dinner. No longer did Alexander linger behind after class or meal times to catch Hephaestion by surprise. It was as they'd never met.

It hurt him to think of Hephaestion had someone other than his closest friend but that was the mind-set he had agreed for himself in order to keep up appearances.

When it was finally time for the third step, Alexander felt relief as his eyes fell on the sad blue orbs that belonged to his best friend. He smiled at the brunet, bringing forth all of his longing into the simple act of smiling and looking away shyly. Never before had Alexander seen a look of adoration, abandonment and courage in another's face until he saw Hephaestion fling himself on him, wrapping his arms around his neck.

They hugged for a long moment, Alexander wrapped his arms around Hephaestion's small waist, pulling him flush against him without a care in the world. It didn't matter that they were hugging in the middle of the classroom with their mates looking at them and teacher judging them. It didn't matter what his friends were saying to each other, sending him scorching looks. The only thing that mattered was that they all knew Hephaestion was his and he was, for all of eternity, Hephaestion's.

"Meet me in my room tonight, Phai," Alexander whispered as they pulled apart. He looked at the boy, no- the man in front of him and hoped that what was to come would pass as he planned it.

It was a tense moment before Hephaestion nodded his head, a smile taking shape in his beautiful face. Alexander nodded to, taking Hephaestion's hand in his and turning to the crowd. He gave them no acknowledgment as he pulled Hephaestion behind him to their seats, hands never unclasping.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title**: Loss of Control

**Beta**: None. All mistakes are my own.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but a DVD and a dream.

**Note:** Ah my friends it has been a long time. I apologise. 13Annie has reminded me of how much of Phai and Alexander's story I've yet to tell. Thank you 13annie.

I hope to get very angry comments/reviews after this chapter. It inspires my muse so bring them on!

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><p>Alexander's letter was waiting for him in his room when Hephaestion returned from his studies. He had panicked earlier, having sent Alexander the note a little over 10 hours ago and having no response. The moment he saw him in their classroom, all their classmates disappeared and all he saw was a pair of brown eyes being draped by a mop of blonde hair. He rushed forward, startling Alexander a bit, pulling him into an embrace. He cared little for the stares they were surely receiving, or the knowing groan that came from their teacher, all that mattered was Alexander returning the embrace, wrapping his arms around Hephaestion's waist and pulling him incredibly close.<p>

Alexander pulled back after another moment, but not before his breath ghosted over Hephaestion's ear. "Meet me in my room tonight, Phai."

What else could Hephaestion do but nod. Hadn't he sent him his reply already, Hepaestion wondered as Alexander took his hand, leading them to their seats. They sat and looked at the ten pairs of eyes that were suddenly on them. Alexander coughed, seemingly snapping everyone out of their gawking and back to whatever it was that they were doing.

Now Hephaestion was in his room, getting ready for meal before wrestling, wearing a smirk that mirrored Alexander's. He took the note in his hand, opening it and expecting to read as much of Alexander's joy and want as he had displayed in class. He was wrong. He dropped the note to the ground in disbelief, blinking as he ran the lines over and over in his mind. _This can't be_, he told himself, _he couldn't…_

He leaned down, moving to his bed slowly, his eyes never leaving the parchment in front of him. Alexander's cruel words, in his own writing, no way of faking that … were too much. This morning had been a lie, his embrace, his gentle words and touch, his thumb caressing over the skin of Hephaestion's hand as they sat, the looks and winks during class and the promise of a night together had all been a lie.

_Phai,_

_I have thought things through and find myself facing a big problem. What happened in class must never happen again. I am a prince and I let my emotions get the better of me. Although I do admit I have some more than friendly feelings towards you, my dear friend, I must also admit that one day I shall be king and I cannot have you at my side. Though you are unique with a mind like no other, you are no noblemen. I need someone by my side who is… strong willed and you, I am sorry to say, are not. _

_How easily you bend at my command, Hephaestion. How willingly you give yourself over to me. It is quite a disgrace, if I am to be honest. _

_I hope I have not hurt you with my word - that was not the purpose of this letter to you, my friend. My purpose was to let you save face and break this – whatever this is – off without gossiping ears around. Should this note not make it to you, I have revealed little that others do not already know._

_I hope we can still remain friends,_

_Alexander._


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** I've been distracted with Mass Effect 2 and then 3 (*sigh* Kaidan/M!Shepard is just too lovely too pass up), I apologise. Here is Chapter Nine and, um, a mystery for y'll to solve. Feel free to point out any mistakes, I don't have a beta so... any help would be wonderful.

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><p>Alexander waited patiently in his room, hands nervously fidgeting with the hem of his tunic. He looked around taking note of everything and checking it off his mental list. Everything was set, ready for Hephaestion to come through the door and be amazed. He had set up everything himself, from the dinner plates to the napkins and mantels to the candles and utensils. They were going to have an elaborate dinner filled with laughter before he would reveal his secret. The secret he was now sure Hephaestion shared.<p>

Gods, he couldn't wait to finally press his lips to his and run his hands through his silky brown hair. How long had he dreamt about this day, longing to have the guts to fulfil it? The day was finally upon them ... And the usually punctual Hephaestion was late.

"Where are you?" He asked himself looking at their cooling dinner on the table. He couldn't have forgotten; Hephaestion has a mind like no other, able to recall even the smallest events without batting an eye. So then where was he?

Alexander waited and waited, pecking at the food as his hunger and frustration grew. Eventually, after the candles burnt themselves out and the sun began to rise, Alexander took the truth for what it was. Hephaestion had stood him up. He had left him out in the cold, a declaration on his lips and a cold dinner on their plates. He had planned this day for so long, taken the most delicate of steps to keep it a secret and make Hephaestion long to be there by his side and all for what?

Where was the gentle press of lips, his name being murmured over and over as their hands raked over each other's bodies, so close to the act but not reaching it just yet.

All he had was a broken heart, a declaration left unsaid and a cold dinner.

* * *

><p>Hephaestion arrived to class the next day with the biggest headache ever. He had rivalled a woman last night, crying his eyes out until he had nothing left inside of him but an empty hole where his heart once was. The words – Alexander's words – kept replaying over and over in his mind. He wanted nothing but to remain in his room, isolated from Alexander's view and disappear into his bed. But, alas, he could not. Alexander wanted to move on, wanted to remain friends and ignore what they had, fine. Hephaestion would live on, a little sadder perhaps, but he did not need Alexander to be alive.<p>

He sat down in class where he normally would, alone in the back and waited. Alexander would not dare miss class; he would never miss an opportunity to make fun of someone who he deemed below him. And now Hephaestion was below him, so far below him that he wasn't even a speck on Alexander's radar.

Perhaps, he thought, I should not think such thoughts about Alexander. Such vile thoughts against a prince could be dangerous, especially if that prince was Alexander.

_"How willingly you bend at my command… give yourself over to me… it is a disgrace…"_

No.

Simply no.

He would not forgive Alexander, would never be friends with him. How could someone play with him in this way, how could he allow Alexander to have so much power over him? A disgrace? Yes. He was a disgrace to himself, not to Alexander.

_Never again_, he vowed as Alexander entered the room, fists clenched and eyes narrowed, searching for someone. Hephaestion looked away; that someone was probably him and he was in no mood for a row.

_What the hell is he thinking,_ Hephaestion wondered, _has he not hurt me enough? Must be rub salt in my wounds as well? Must be embarrass me, tell everyone of my pathetic crush on him?_

* * *

><p>Alexander walked straight to the brown haired boy who had stood him up last night, his mind on nothing but reaching and demanding an answer. Everyone knew better than to get in his way, stepping aside as their angry Prince made his way over to Hephaestion. There was something in his eyes that made Alexander stop. He took notice of his puffy red eyes, the trembling of his hands even as they lay on his lap and the way Hephaestion was biting his lower lip.<p>

Who dare hurt his Phai? He would have them punished for making his brave, wonderful Phai feel as he feels.

His angry expression changed as he reached Hephaestion, sitting down next to him and wrapping an arm around him. He didn't expect Hephaestion to shrug out of the gesture, moving away from Alexander as if he was a deadly disease.

"Phai, it's me," he said gently. "What's wrong?"

Hephaestion turned around, eyes wide. "What's wrong?" he yelled incredulously. "What's wrong, you ask, my prince?"

"That is what I said," Alexander confirms. "Speak to me, love."

"Do not call me that!" Hephaestion said through clenched teeth, voice wavering a moment later as he added, "Don't… I can't do this…" He stood, pushing Alexander away and leaving the room in a hurry.

Whatever was going on with him stunned the rest of their classmates as well as Alexander. They stared at him, even their teacher, as confused as he was. Alexander could do nothing, brows furrowed in confusion and hurt as he tried to figure out what had happened that could have made Hephaestion so mad. It is he who should be mad, after all, he was the one that had been stood up, force to throw away the delicacies he had made for Hephaestion and fold the table mantel up along with his pride.

He stood, leaving the classroom without another word, avoiding the eyes of his fellow mates. He had a lot to think about, a lot to consider before he could confront Hephaestion.

* * *

><p><em>Gods, was he weak to run away from Alexander instead of staying and dealing with everything. How he and those vipers he calls friends must be laughing it up right now. Did he think I would succumb to his loving words? Does he think me that weak and pliant to forgive his words with a simple touch of his skin and soft words? He is sorely mistaken.<em>

Hephaestion threw himself on his bed, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to reign in everything he felt. Alexander was not making this easy and now Hephaestion had the memory of his worried face, his gentle touch and caring words to add to the pain that had gathered in the pit of his stomach.

In the end, after hours of doubts, Hephaestion stood up, deciding to write Alexander a letter just as he had the night before except that this letter would not be hurtful. He was not that kind of man, not like Alexander was apparently. he began, finding himself unable to control his emotions as he wrote.

_My Prince,_

_I find myself in a difficult position and a most dangerous one. I received your letter last night just as I was getting ready to meet you in your chambers. Of course, your letter changed those plans and left me nothing to do all night but to ponder your words. _

_I must admit that I am conflicted. You have given me mixed signals, my prince. First I am, to quote your words_, a disgrace_ and you, being a prince, can't have someone like me at his side. And yet today, as you sat down, wrapping your warm arm around my shoulders as you have done since we were young, said otherwise. The comfort your embrace once provided has gone, replaced by a deep pain that I have no words to describe. It hurts me to be played with in this manner and, thus, it is where this difficult position begins. While I do find myself craving you in in more than 'friendly' ways, to quote you, I also can't help but think on your words and see the truth to them. I am, compared to you, nothing but ordinary. I am just another person roaming this planet with a single purpose: to serve my king. You, however, are to have a great future. Destiny had chosen you to lead our people into greatness, it has empowered you with gifts that I can only dream of. You are the chosen leader, _our_ chosen leader and I will, when the time comes, follow you until my death shall come._

_But that destiny has yet to take shape. You are but a child prodigy, half as great as you will once be. It is not an insult, my prince - it is the truth. I see that now. You are, as the rest of us, subject to feelings and thoughts that are unwelcomed and unwanted. I only pray that the thoughts regarding me don't hurt you as mine do about you. It is one thing to love someone as only a friend and a whole other thing to love someone as I love you. _

_That is the difficult position, Alexander, because I do in fact value you above all others and not just as my prince and one day as my king. You are the one thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think of as I lay in bed. You are the only person I have ever felt this for and, as I'm sure you note from the length of this letter, as confused. _

_I'd hoped the dinner you had so amorously whispered into my ear was prelude to a declaration. I was prepared, I _have_ been prepared for my own declaration for a long time. And yet here we are, barely speaking and at odds. I do not wish to see our friendship end but I cannot continue on being with you without truly _being_ with you. I want you to know how I feel, what I've felt for a long time, so that you may draw your own conclusion. _

_I will be waiting in my chambers, praying that my proclamation is not to madden you. Say the word and I will leave, I will not impose myself on you any longer than you deem necessary. As much as it may hurt me to do so, I will do it for you, my love. I will do anything you ask. Should you want my feelings to be buried, never to be spoken about again, I shall do it. Should you want to never speak to me again, I will understand. If leaving will satisfy you, I will leave. Just say the word and I will._

_I have babbled on enough. My point has been hopefully made amidst all this chatter. I will await your response._

_Yours forever,_

_Hephaestion._

Hephaestion did not re-read his letter; his hands shook too much to be able to hold the paper between his hands and his eyes were too obstructed with tears to be able to even look at the paper. With a deep inhale, he gathered his strength, he closed the letter in half, writing Alexander's name with elegant script like he always did. If Alexander had one thing to remember him by, should he want it, he hoped this letter would be it. Whether as a reminder of Hephaestion's weakness or as something else, he just needed to know that Alexander had something of his, something that he had put his whole self into.

_What a fool I've been, a lovesick fool. This will either make peace between us or break them off once and for all._

* * *

><p>Artemis ran like he had never ran before, piece of paper clutched close to his chest. He had one job, just one and he had already failed at it once, it wasn't going to happen again. No, he had to deliver this message even if the king had him executed afterwards. He knew not of the special connection between the prince and his best friend, he saw only his son being taken for a fool, used in a way only royalty should use others. And Hephaestion was no royal. The king could do as he wished with Artemis - once the letter was safe in the hands of Alexander.<p>

It was hard, dodging the royal guards, but once he made it to into the kitchens he managed to sneak his way past them and run to Alexander's door. If they should catch him, he would not go willingly. Alexander was known for small mercies once in a while, he just hoped that while was today should he be caught by the guards chasing after him like some common thief.

He pushed his way into Alexander's front room, falling over a chair left in the centre of it. After picking himself up, he all but ran to Alexander's room.

His job was done. Now the question remained, was his death worth it?

* * *

><p>Alexander was tired, confused and, most of all, hungry. All day his stomach had been riddled with a strange pang that he couldn't identify. Now, as he lay in bed, not only was that feeling present but also his stomach, very loudly, reminded him that he had missed lunch. He stood up, hands running through his hair, and made to leave his room when his page came in, his face verging on hysterics.<p>

"For gods sake, what is wrong with you?" Alexander asked the panicked page. "Calm yourself, man."

"This – this l-letter i-is for you, my prince."

"Why are you in this state?" Alexander asked as the page threw the letter into his chest. The man retreated, running out of the room as fast and as panicked as he had arrived. "By the gods…" Alexander whispered to himself as he watched the man make a hasty retreat.

He looked to the letter in his hands, the letter practically thrown at him by a hysterical man without an explanation. The elegant script brought a smile to his face. Phai. He opened the paper, wincing as it sliced through one of his fingers, and began to read. The pain in his stomach grew as he read the words that his dear Phai had agonised over for gods know how long.

"Oh, Phai…" he whispered horrified as he continued to read. "My dear, Phai…"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Finals have been rough and by rough I mean I've been trying to avoid them and keep myself busy.

* * *

><p>It was a few days before Hephaestion heard from Alexander. In class, the few classes Alexander went to, they sat as they always did, together. Not a word was spoken between them, not one glance or joke shared. They were silent, awkward. A visitor to their class would think them strangers.<p>

Although it didn't sir well with Hephaestion, he didn't have the words to speak to his oldest friend. What could he say, really? Nothing. He had received no word from him after sending his letter, not even a nod in acknowledgement to know he _had_ received it. There was nothing for him to do but wait and hope that the silence meant forgiveness.

Outside of class they were strangers to one another. Apart from meals, they were never seen together. Hephaestion remained in his room, pacing and thinking, hoping that some sort of response would arrive. None came. Eventually he gave up, remaining in his room for the solitude.

Almost a month passed by the time a gentle knocking snapped Hephaestion from his thoughts. He got up, running a hand through his dark hair and trying, in vain, to appear as though he hadn't been in bed, cover over his head for the last few hours. Approaching the door, the hesitantly reach for the knob wondering where is page was. He pulled the door open and his eyes widened.

A group of soldiers, swords dangling from their tunics, stood on the other side. Their eyes were hard and wary; these were soldiers that had seen battle many times around. Hephaestion gulped, opening the door fully.

"Yes?" He asked in his most authoritarian voice. "What's wrong?"

"The prince requests you to pack an overnight bag," one of the soldiers said. Hephaestion must have looked confused for the soldier added; "he requests that you be ready with the bag within the hour. We are to escort you out of the kingdom."

Speechless, Hephaestion stepped away from the soldiers and packed his bag. _This is it_, he told himself, _this is his reply_. Moving robotically, he packed a bag with the few essentials he could think of and any clothes that would fit. He managed to fit most of his most costly clothes, a few mementos, Alexander's notes, some food, a few books, paper and pen. Ready, he made his way back to the soldiers outside his door, handing them the bag. With one last look at his room, the only place he had ever truly called home, he followed the men.

* * *

><p>Hephaestion followed the soldiers out of the palace, past the markets, through the villages and then the guard posts and their section of the land until finally they reached the outlining villages with the country, rich with colour and free of people, could be seen off into the distance.<p>

The soldiers circled around him, making him the centre of their circle and giving him the feel of a prisoner being escorted to his death. All through the journey, people stared at him through the thick appendages of the soldiers. He looked head on, not showing any emotion on the outside whilst cowering on the inside with shame, disgrace and fear on the inside.

He was being escorted out of the kingdom without preamble, reason or warning. But, thinking on it since all he had was time to think as they walked on, he supposed his letter was a reason. He had, after all, told Alexander to only say the word and he would leave without a fuss. This was Alexander's word, it seemed. This was yet another humiliation for Hephaestion and source of entertainment for Alexander. What a fool he'd been; falling in love with his best friend, his prince, and having not expected this outcome.

What a fool indeed.

* * *

><p>Alexander didn't like to wait. It was the one thing he hated the most. Sure, he was patient, but to a point. He was a prince, one day he would be a king, and kings do <em>not<em> wait. He paced inside the little shack he had commandeered outside of the kingdom with the help of his mother. She had, with the kindest smile he'd ever seen, helped him with this plan. She certainly was devious, a genius but very devious.

Everything was set - the arrival of Hephaestion was the last piece of the puzzle that had been driving Alexander crazy the entire day. He looked around the room, reminiscing of the dinner he had prepared months ago only to have it go to waste. This dinner would not go to waste and, hopefully, neither would the luxurious bed he had his servants bring from the palace. The plan was simple, too simple. So simple it can do nothing but succeed, his mother assured him.

Step one: much like his previous plan, included avoiding Hephaestion like he was the plague. That step he very much failed, sitting down next to the young man during class without realizing what he was doing. It was a habit, arriving and taking his seat next to Hephaestion, one that would be hard to outgrow. Not that he was going to do that. He was happy to oblige that particular habit till it rendered him useless.

Step two: whilst avoiding Hephaestion, outside the classroom, he would play host to many parties. Rumours would fly about his adventures, rumours that would eventually reach Hephaestion's ear. This particular part relied on jealousy. So far there had been no grand confrontation, no sparing between the two men about Alexander's adventures. He did, however, notice the way Hephaestion would stiffen at any mention of Alexander's parties during class time. His hands would curl up in a fist, his thigh, right next to Alexander, would tense, his body going completely still. He would breathe in and out slowly as if calming himself through his breathing. Alexander wouldn't say that the reaction pleased him but it did mean that Hephaestion, for all his silence, cared what was happening with him.

Step three: investigate the letter sent by Hephaestion and find the ridiculous page that had delivered it. So far step three was a failure. Not only had the page disappeared but the letter as well. For an entire day, Alexander searched his rooms for the piece of paper only to find nothing. He had his servants do the same, moving furniture and scavenging outside his windows in case it had been blown away by the wind. They found nothing. Frustrated, Alexander had given up. He had tried, and failed, to remember each and every word Hephaestion had used to declare his heart out to him. One thing was clear; someone was working in the sidelines to sabotage him.

Step four: after avoiding Hephaestion for a couple of weeks he sent his private soldiers to get him. They were to look intimidating and not reveal a single detail of this part of the plan to the man. He told them to keep quiet. His careful planning depended on the ability of his soldiers to keep their gossiping mouths shut long enough to have Hephaestion draw his own conclusion as to why he was being escorted so far out of the kingdom. They knew the price to pay if Hephaestion was alerted of true reason for his journey into the country. They knew what the queen was capable of.

Step five was… unsettling for Alexander to say the least. Everything had been set up, sure, but the waiting, the damned anticipation, was slowly killing him. It had been this way months ago as he waited for Hephaestion to show up in his room for their meeting. Hephaestion never did and now, having read the letter, Alexander knew why. He should be calm about this, he knew this, but the thought that yet another thing will get in the way of his plans to woo the young man. He simply couldn't take it if Hephaestion remained any further from him.

Now he just had to wait for Hephaestion to arrive, only then would his mind be at ease.

Alexander eyed the food on the table, the candle in the centre flickering and casting a beautiful shadow against the wall. He remembered Hephaestion once say that, unseen to the human eye, the forces of light and dark battle in the shadows. Neither ever winning, a stalemate fought on for all eternity – the need for balance and order assured that.

He missed Hephaestion's elaborate tales. How imaginative he was, creative to a point of a genius that no one else could ever possess. Quick witted, smart, brave, strong, creative and beautiful – all words that described Hephaestion but even they could not fully encompassed his essence.

"I sound like a woman!" Alexander exclaimed, his brow furrowing. "Hephaestion has reduced me to a love sick girl following in his steps, falling in love with everything that comes out of his lips, kissing the floor he walks on. Oh, how father would just love to see me now. How proud would he be of his son!"

* * *

><p>Hephaestion watched as the soldiers rested. He had been informed that they were almost to their destination; just a few paces away from it actually. He had asked many times where exactly he was headed and received nothing but a shove back in the centre of the circle and a scoff from the soldiers. Now, as they sat on the grass lucky enough to have been trampled on, he asked them again.<p>

"You say the trip will end soon and I wish to know, since we will soon go our separate ways, where exactly will I be going," Hephaestion asked, shoulders squared, knees bend slightly and eyes front. It was the pose that Alexander took whenever he spoke with his father, respectful yet ready to move away at a moments notice.

"Sit down, boy," one of the soldiers said. "We are tired and hungry. Shut your trap and rest for a bit."

Hephaestion did no such thing. His knees already bent, his belonging in a bag by his feet, he took off running. If he were to leave this place he would do it on his terms and no one else's. He knew of a good place to hide out, sleep in for the night before heading on the road to leave this place for good. The shack would do.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **You guys have been waiting too long! Here is part one of chapter 11, part two will be up tomorrow night. I've planned this story out... only five chapters (plus an epilogue) remain. If I cut some chapter's down I will let you know but my plan, as far as what I will write for the next few days, is five chapters. This not not beta'd.

If at anytime you feel a question has gone unanswered, don't hesitate to point it out to me. I have a list on my profile that lists all the stories I'm working on and which I'm working on for the day. Check it out if you have a chance.

* * *

><p>There was nothing worse than having the feeling that someone was lurking just at the peripheral of your vision.<p>

Alexander was hunched over the table wiping away some stray candle wax that had fallen on the otherwise spotless tablecloth when he felt it. Sure, being stuck in the woods in a shack that had been built by savages shortly before being conquered wasn't as safe as, say, a walled palace with an army of trained, highly trained deadly soldiers roaming it's halls and protecting it's exteriors. But it was romantic and that was what Alexander was going for.

But the feeling that there was someone roaming the outside of the shack persisted as he continued waiting. He listened, willing his breath and heartbeat to still, for the tell-tale signs that someone was lurking about. There was none. He breathed out a sigh of relief and turned back to the table.

The food was getting cold. Already having been waiting two hours Alexander had little patience remaining. If a group of soldiers, _his_ personal soldiers, couldn't handle such a menial task as escorting someone to the middle of nowhere for a romantic dinner then what good were they? He might as well –

Alexander's whole body stilled at the sound of footsteps by the door. With a hand on a utensil - _whose bright idea was it to not bring my weapon_ – he approached the door slowly. If there was someone on the other side of it, he didn't want to give them the advantage of kicking the door open and having it slam on his face, this knocking him out and given them the advantage. What a story that would be, Prince Alexander getting knocked out by a door! He took a step to the right, keeping the door in his sights, approaching the wall to look out a small peeping hole that had been carved into the wood of the shack. He couldn't see anything but trees and darkness.

Sure that there was no one on the other side of the door, he took a deep breath and reached for the doorknob. He turned it slowly; making sure it did not make a sound as he pulled the door towards him.

"Anyone out there?" he called out, pulling the door wide open. "This is Prince Alexander of Macedonia, I demand you step out and show yourself!"

"You shouldn't say that out in the open woods," a voice answered. "If I was a mercenary or an enemy soldier, I wouldn't miss a chance to have you as my captive, my prince."

"Who – Phai? Is that you?"

A figure stepped out of the shadows and into the light. Hair disheveled, clothing torn and dirty, Hephaestion looked at Alexander with a sad smile. Opening the door wider, Alexander stepped aside to let him down. Hephaestion didn't move, however, he simply put his bags on the floor and sighed.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, looking at Alexander with a grim look. "Your soldiers drag me out of my chambers with no explanation. Was this your doing?"

Alexander blinked. _He has always been able to see through me,_ he thought as he chuckled and replied, "Yes."

"Unbelievable." Hephaestion picked up his bags, slinging them over his soldiers. He walked towards Alexander, brushing past him as he walked inside the shack. "You could've just spoken to me, asked me to come to you."

"I didn't think you would want to speak with me, Phai," Alexander confessed, closing the door behind him. He watched as Hephaestion's bags dropped to the floor once more, this time out of surprise. He turned on his heels, a million questions in the blue eyes that Alexander loved so much. "Yes, this is for you. I –"

"Why are you doing this?" Hephaestion interrupted sharply. "After everything, why do –" he waved his hands to the dinner behind him – "this?"

Alexander looked at the dinner table, a smile appearing on his face. "I have the entire night planned. The food might be a bit cold but you know c-"

"Stop."

"The food is great, I promise," Alexander continued. "Then we're going to have a walk in the woods and –"

"Stop, Alexander. Just stop."

"Spending the night in the woods is dangerous but its quiet. You love the quiet, I remember you saying you –" Alexander stopped, blinking rapidly trying to keep his emotions in control. Biting his lower lip, he faced Hephaestion. "What am I doing wrong, Phai? Why don't you want me?"

Hephaestion gritted his teeth, looking away from Alexander. There was nothing he could say. Nothing Alexander could read in his face to get a feel of him. With no answer, Alexander turned away, a whimper leaving his lips.

_He doesn't want me_, he thought to himself, rubbing the bridge of his nose with two fingers, trying to relieve the pressure he felt built up behind his eyes. _This was a mistake. I made a mistake and now, he hates me. Reverting a sniveling girl won't help, Alexander… but nothing else will either._

"Alexander, what is it that you hoped to gain from all this?" Hephaestion asked taking a step towards Alexander. He reached out, placing a hand on the prince's shoulder, turning him around and meeting his gaze. "I thought we were… over."

"Over?" Alexander repeated. "How could you think that?"

Hephaestion opened his mouth to reply, shutting close a moment later and scrunching his brows as he looked at his prince. He honestly looked confused and that made Hephaestion snap. "The letter you sent me made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me."

"I don't understand. What letter?"

"Don't play coy, Alexander!" Hephaestion yelled pointing at the prince in anger. "I was ready to go to your chambers and have dinner when that – that blasted page entered and handed me your note!"

He looked into his satchel, his hands trembling as he searched for the letter he spoke of. All the things he could have taken with him, he'd packed all the notes and letters Alexander ever wrote to him. He took them out, trying not to blush as Alexander recognized his own writing on the papers.

"You – you kept all … all of my letters?" Alexander asked softly, reaching out to still Hephaestion's hands by placing his pale ones on top. "Phai –"

Hephaestion moved away, snatching his hands back from Alexander. He ignored his question, turning his back on the prince as he looked through the multitude of papers he was carrying. Finally, he found it.

Turning back to Alexander, he threw the slip of paper in his face and said, with as much distaste as he could muster, "they are useless to me now. Especially this one."

"Hephaestion I did not write this letter," Alexander said firmly holding the letter in his hand, his eyes glued on the man in front of him. "I would never write such hateful things. Never. Not to you. Never to you, my love."

A whimper left Hephaestion's lips before he could stop it. He bit his lower lip in hopes that the ball he felt in his throat would dissipate soon along with the tears trying to push their way past his eyes. There was sincerity in Alexander's eyes that he hadn't seen in a while - _this_ was his friend, and the boy he fell in love with and was too scared to tell. This was the man who would one day become king. This man would not have sent such a letter to someone he dared to love so deeply as Alexander claimed to love him.

The realization that Alexander had said 'my love' to him hit Hephaestion a moment too late. Already the prince was looking at the letter he had been handed, scanning its words with scrunched brows. Hephaestion dared not ask if he'd heard correctly for fear that Alexander had not meant the term of endearment or that it had slipped out in the heat of the moment. For now, Hephaestion would hold on to it, cherish it until he could be strong enough to reveal his secret to Alexander.

"Did you honestly think I would speak to you like this? Like a child? Do I sound this condescending to you?" Alexander asked, approaching Hephaestion with a determined look. Hephaestion said nothing, his eyes dropping to the floor between them. "I must say," Alexander began, reaching to cup Hephaestion's chin and bring those eyes he love so much into view. "I do share these more than friendly feelings that you – and apparently – I describe."

"That is not the –"

"Have dinner with me," Alexander interrupted. He grabbed Hephaestion's satchel and the letters in his hands, putting them aside. "I had this whole night arranged for the two of us. I hoped to declare my undying love for you tonight but I see that this, bringing you out to the middle of the woods without an explanation, was folly on my part. I apologize, Phai."

"I don't understand," Hephaestion admitted. "What are you saying? Am I to forget those nasty letters I received because you made your cooks make a meal and decorated a shack with a dinner cloth?"

Alexander blinked. "I expect nothing of you that you are not willing to give. I –" he gulped the nerves that were quickly spreading through his body. "I care about you, Hephaestion. I care about you deeply and, I might even go as far as to say that I – I love you."

A gasp unwillingly left Hephaestion's body as Alexander touched his arm with a gentleness he never thought the prince possessed. He looked down at the connection, trying to find a fault in what Alexander was saying. None came and for once, he was glad his mind stopped working.

What was he to do now? Should he tell Alexander that he too felt the same about him? Would he think that he was only saying it so as to not defy his prince? What if –

"Speak," Alexander demanded softly. "Or… Should I take your silence as a rejection, Hephaestion? Speak, please."

Hephaestion swallowed down the massive amount of emotions that were trying to fight their way out of his body and said, "What am I to say?" He looked at his friend. How long had he waited to hear those words?

_Perhaps too long,_ he thought sadly, _since it now appears you have no answer. All the dreams, the fantasies and not a single word of endearment are coming to mind in the very moment that he has declared his love for me._

"I did not send these letters, love." Alexander took a step towards him, hands held up as if nearing a wounded animal. "The malicious words you read where not mine. But I will ask you to forgive me just the same. I should have come to you sooner instead of avoiding you, of selecting to be away from you. I am at fault here." He nodded, watching Hephaestion's lips quirk up in a small smile. He took that as a sign and added, rather dramatically like he'd seen his mother do, "I, Alexander, apologize to you, Hephaestion, for any and all pain I might or might not have caused you."

Hephaestion chuckled, a smile breaking out on his face, making his eyes crinkle at the sides in the adorable way that Alexander dreamt of at night. Those fantasies, as real as they might have seen, were nothing compared to looking at Hephaestion face to face with only inches separating their lean bodies.

Realising their proximity and not wanting to crowd Hephaestion, he took a step back, motioning to the dinner behind him. Hephaestion followed his movements, his eyes glancing only briefly at the food before returning to Alexander's face. "I must say, my prince, this is quite strange. What will your mother think, you running around the woods with your best friend for a romantic dinner?"

Alexander laughed. "Who's idea do you think this was?"

* * *

><p><p>

Alexander watched as his best friend ate the food laid out on the table, eyes tracing the sinew muscle of his arm as he extended it to reach the other side of the table picking at a fruit bowl with his thin fingers. He was sat on a wooden chair, the plate in front of him bare, and sighed. There was nothing he would rather do right now than sit and watch Hephaestion slip grapes into his mouth and his lips wrapping around the fork to eat a slice of meat. It was better than any show a harem could put on.

"Will you be eating or staring at me the whole time?" Hephaestion asked his eyes on Alexander who shook his head with a smile. Hephaestion sat back on his chair, wiping his hands on his tunic, to watch Alexander as he was watching him. "Am I right to assume that dinner isn't the only thing you brought me here? Or is this all I am getting for being taken from my chambers and led out of the palace like a criminal?"

"I thought I was the impatient one in this relationship," Alexander quipped.

"Are we in a relationship?"

"I would like that very much. I've longed to be w –"

Hephaestion ran his hands through his hair, groaning with frustration, interrupting Alexander. He licked his lips; trying to calm the nerves he felt building inside of him. This wasn't going how he'd planned it, how his mother told him would happen. Actually, the exact opposite was happening. Instead they sat at opposite ends of the table, the food between them was getting more interaction with Hephaestion that he.

"If you did not send the letter, who did?"

Alexander blinked, confused at the sudden change of topic. "Shall we speak about what is going on with us before moving on to what tore us apart? It's bad enough that we've been almost complete strangers for weeks now, but now that we are alone –"

"What am I to say, Alexander?" Hephaestion yelled getting up from his seat. "Tell me what you want to hear!"

"I – I don't want to hear anything. I just want to have a nice dinner with you."

"I can't do that… the letter might not have been your words but they ring true. We should not be together, _cannot_ be together, Alexander."

"Can you deny having feelings for me that supersede those of a friend?" Alexander demanded, rising from his seat to confront _- the obviously confused_ – Hephaestion. "After years, I have come clean Hephaestion. I have set up this entire night for us to revel in our affirmation of our feelings for one another. So don't you dare tell me that you feel nothing for me. I have seen the way you look at me, the wayward looks when you think I am not looking, the tense way you hold yourself in the halls when servants approach me or when we're celebrating with the rest of the palace."

"What does that mean, then? Huh? What does that make me?" Hephaestion questioned pointing to himself. Something heavy pressed on his chest suffocating him from the inside out, making it difficult to, not only look at Alexander, but also speak to him. "That I am to become your new consort, your slave to be used and thrown away like all the others?"

"What? Never!"

Hephaestion scoffed, moving away from Alexander. "Never mind that, how can I be sure that these feelings of yours are true? As you said, we have been strangers for the better part of two months now. You could have changed, this could all be a test. I could be killed for speaking to you in this manner."

"_I_ am not the one who has changed," Alexander challenged.

There was no response from Hephaestion, just his shoes scraping on the floor as he moved back to the table, palms on the solid surface, facing away from Alexander. He stood there, thinking to himself whilst the prince watched, nervously chewing his lip. If he'd damaged their relationship, caused the rift already in place to become a crater, Alexander would never forgive himself. He would give up anything and everything to be with Hephaestion; without him, Alexander was not complete.

He understood the empty feeling he'd felt for most of his life. It wasn't that his father practically hated him and his mother or that he only laid claim to him when it was needed. It was the feeling of being incomplete, of being alone forever. Hephaestion was his other half. That much was clear now if only he could see it as clearly as Alexander could.

"I love you," he said firmly walking to Hephaestion's side by the table. He reached out, gently touching the boy's shoulder. He felt the muscle tighten under his fingers, felt the tension building up in Hephaestion's body as he pulled gently, turning him so he would face Alexander. Once their eyes had met, Fresh Ocean blue and tree bark brown, Alexander repeated, "I love you."

Hephaestion's lower lip quivered, jaw tensing as he gritted his teeth to stop from outright sobbing in front of Alexander. What a fool he had been to think Alexander capable of such harsh words. A fool to believe the ink written letters could tore open his heart and stomp on it while it's writer was safe and unknowing of the consequences. Alexander was not cruel. He should have known that, should have been able to know that it wasn't Alexander.

And yet… there was a part of him that could still recite the verses, _feel_ the pain they caused as if he was hearing them for the first time. He might be able to forgive Alexander but the words… no, the words would stick with him.

"What does that even mean?" Hephaestion asked, the surrender apparent on his face.

"It does not make you my whore or my consort," Alexander explained, "It makes you my lover, my one and only, my soul mate."

"That – That is a lot of pressure," Hephaestion joked weakly. "And if I don't live up to those standards?"

"The moment I no longer call you my soul mate shall be the moment my soul departs this world." Moving his hand from Hephaestion's shoulder to his cheek – _as soft I always dreamed his skin to be – _Alexander leaned in and whispered, "and when the moment comes, we shall meet again in the next life where we will be together for eternity."

Hephaestion smiled, tilting his head to the side and letting Alexander caress his cheek with his thumb. When their lips met, it was at a total shock to Hephaestion who had been intently focused on Alexander's touch. The gentle press of soft lips against his for a brief – _too_ brief – moment only lasted a few moments. He leaned into the kiss, his hands finding purchase on Alexander's slim waist, not allowing the prince to step away. When a hand cupped the back of his neck, tilting his head back, the last thing he would expect was a gasp leaving his mouth.

The momentary action seemed to snap Alexander back into reality. His hands left Hephaestion's body, his lips following a moment later as he moved away from him and no matter how hard he tried to grip Alexander by the hips to keep him in place, the prince moved, leaving him yearning for more. Hephaestion touched his lips, his hands trembling.

No words were exchanged when Alexander turned back, his lips red from the chaste kiss. Somehow, having watched all the generals and his father after the woman had left and the drinking accelerated, the kiss felt incomplete. No exchange of fluid, no tongue fighting against tongue, no saliva trail between them. Only a shared look, of surprise and want that said more than words ever could.

"It is getting late," Hephaestion suddenly said. "Perhaps we should go to bed…"

Alexander could not have agreed more.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Yay.

* * *

><p>Hephaestion woke up with a terrible crick in his neck. Having slept on a chair, the table acting as a pillow, he considered himself lucky. While true that his arm had fallen asleep and his cheek had the impression of the corner of the table, he hadn't been the one to sleep on the floor. That pleasure went to the very stubborn, very heavy sleeper Prince Alexander who was sprawled out on the dirty floor, hair disheveled and snoring for all to hear.<p>

Hephaestion smiled down at his friend remembering how, as kids, they used to camp out and watch the stars. They would make a fire, catch some animals to eat, pretend to be soldiers and, finally, lie on the earth and watch the sky as the stars shone against the dark abyss. Sometimes they would tell each other tales or make predictions about the future based on the glowing lights in the sky. As they grew older, however, camping out became too dangerous for Alexander. His father accumulated many enemies, most of which would love to see him suffer as he made them suffer. Soon enough, they were not alone when they went star watching and then it just stopped altogether.

For a while after that, Alexander was made to focus on his future military career only having free time at night. It was then that he would sneak over to Hephaestion's chambers to speak. Occasionally they spoke well into the night, which made Alexander's father furious the next day when all the young prince could do was yawn during his instructions. When they king found out about Hephaestion's involvement in Alexander's tired state, he was sent away.

It didn't last long, his trip. According to the Queen, Alexander became melancholy after his departure, barely eating or getting out of bed. He began to be ill from malnourishment, not speaking to anyone until the pain in his body grew to be too much. Even then, he would only speak to his mother, the only other person apart from Hephaestion who he trusted implicitly. It was the queen who had sent for his return. The queen who had made it so they would be taught together by the best teacher of all the land, Aristotle.

It was their tutor who first noticed their close relationship, the first to take note of their connection and the first to hide it from Philip, the king. It was he who described their friendship as "one soul abiding two bodies" to the queen who had then, in confidence, spoken with Hephaestion tasking him with the care Alexander. That had been a long time ago, too long even in their short lives.

How could he have forgotten that - the promise to the queen, their friendship and their connection?

He could not forget the letter – no, the hurtful words would be with him for a long time to come – but, if Alexander was telling the truth, the contents of the scrap of paper in his bag were not written by the boy king but by someone else who had, in whatever state of mind, wished for them to break apart, to be alone and vulnerable, then Alexander was not to blame and Hephaestion could not continue to give him the cold shoulder. Who would do such a thing, he wondered.

Running through a list of possible suspects (including the King but he abhorred the thought of the King having done this), Hephaestion found the list to be quite long. When had they begun to be hated by others? He knew why an Athenian like himself was disliked. But how did that relate to Alexander? In reverse, Alexander was hated by a lot of people simply for being the blood of, what some called him, _Tyrant_ Philip of Macedonia. In either of the cases, there would be plenty of people who would like to see them hurt – emotionally or physically. Whether it was political reasons or personal, too many people had grudges against –

"Stop."

"My prince?"

"Murmuring doesn't become you," Alexander replied with a smile. He sat up, running a hand through his hair. He walked to Hephaestion. "What were you murmuring about?"

"Nothing, my prince."

"Would you please stop referring to me as your prince? I thought we were past this, Phai. Are we not friends once more?"

"I apologize, my Prin – Alexander." He looked down. "It has become a habit of sorts."

"See to it that the habit does not remain. I would prefer it if we went back to the way things were before... everything."

"As would I."

Alexander reached over and touched Hephaestion's shaking hands, steading them as he spoke, "I value our friendship too much to let it disappear into the abyss."

Hephaestion took his hands back, standing up. "Who would do this to us? What would someone gain from tearing us apart?"

"I do not know." Alexander shook his head.

"I – the list is long to say the least," Hephaestion commented with a sad smile.

"I, too, have found the list of suspects to be quite ... substantial," Alexander admits.

"Has our friendship warranted so much hatred from others that they would rather see us miserable apart than happy together?"

"I cannot answer that, Phai. We cannot possibly know what flows through the mind of the perpetrator. There could be many causes to this, irrational only in his mind."

"How are we to find out who it is if we cannot find why he did this? Are we just to continue living as if these last few weeks have been nothing but hell?"

"We are not to do anything, love," Alexander cooed. "If we are seen together, reconciled and happy, the wrongdoer will reveal himself once more. This, obvious by the letter in your pack, is personal. Such things are never left alone, they must be carried out and executed with perfection and, whoever this is, did not count on my stubbornness."

"You are quite stubborn," Hephaestion admitted with a coy smile. He sighed after a moment, running his hands through his brown locks. "Perhaps you are correct. What shall we do until he reveals himself?"

"We," Alexander stood up from his seat and walked toward Hephaestion, putting his hands on his cheeks, "act as of nothing happened. We return to our old ways and take note of any strange behavior. We remain vigilant, he will reveal himself eventually, that is something my father taught me."

"I shall do as you say," Hephaestion said taking a step back. "But I am not ready to return as we once were. Though the words were not yours, they ring true. I cannot allow myself to feel what I feel when I know that you will not be mine for..." He faltered, closing his eyes to compose himself. "One day, when you are king, you shall take a wife. I will be by your side, as always, but I will not compete against the queen. I will be nothing but in the way once your take a queen. I can't – I can't do that."

"Phai – "

"I will not be your whore," Hephaestion closed his eyes, trying to control the emotions within. "If this ordeal has thought me anything it is that, when you are king, I will be nothing. No matter what you may say or do now, you will take a queen someday. You will continue your legacy through a child and I will be tossed aside like some rag – "

Alexander could not stand to hear this any longer. Taking two strides to Hephaestion, he grabbed him by the neck and crushed their lips together. Surprised and caught in mid sentence, Hephaestion resisted as first. When Alexander's tongue licked his lower lip, there was nothing he could do to stifle the moan that opened his mouth to the advances of the young prince. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Alexander's tongue as they battled for dominance. Just when he thought he was done for, the prince pulled away.

Foreheads touching, their breaths mingled as Alexander looked into the blue ocean waves that were Hephaestion's's eyes. Their eyes locked for a long moment, searching. As if under a silent agreement, they both leaned forward, their lips touching once more in another breath taking kiss. Dominance went to Hephaestion who reached for Alexander's neck, tilting his head back and effectively deepening their kiss.

A pounding on the door had them breaking apart, their lips dislodging with a POP. Dishevelled as he was, Alexander walked to the door, opening it with one smooth movement.

"What?" He snapped. "What is so important that you felt the need to pound on the door?"

The soldiers on the other side of the door snapped to attention, their armours making a clanking sound that made the prince wince.

One of the men stepped up, his eyes downcast as Alexander regarded him, waiting for an explanation. "My Prince, we have failed you."

"How so?"

"The Athenian, Amytor, got away from us."

Alexander balled his fists and growled, "The Athenian is right here, soldier. Leave."

The men saluted, their armour snapping to attention with them and making Alexander wince once more. The boy prince closed the door without another word, turning to Hephaestion. He rolled his eyes, chuckling as the other boy smiled at him. They looked at one another. Alexander took the few steps that it took to bring them face-to-face, his eyes never leaving Hephaestion's.

"What now?"

"Now, we eat."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:**Cleitus the Black... what do you think about their relationship? Yes, it is different than canon. So sue me. I apologize if you can't review, I made changes (put chapter 11 parts A and B together and whatnot). Also, You've read the first three breaks, I just added it to this chapter to give a better understanding of this single set of events. And, lastly, I am on cough medicine so if parts don't make sense... well, 10% alcohol Vics medicine is to blame.

* * *

><p>With lingering questions about who was the culprit, the boy prince and his best friend, set home. The soldiers trailed behind them, scouted ahead and, generally, kept their distance to as much as safety possible from the two boys as they traipsed home. They whispered and gave each other knowing glances that Alexander and Hephaestion missed as they spoke happily about the times they used to camp out in the night sky.<p>

It had been a long time, they agreed, and they should return to their tradition someday.

The boys were oblivious to the looks directed towards them. The soldiers were freed to glare, roll their eyes and do as they wished as long as the boy prince and his _whore_ didn't see them. What could the whore do anyway? Alexander had no real power over anything – not yet. The best he could do was run to the king or queen and demand something be done. But would either take action? The soldiers knew they would not. They had been especially picked by the King to guard his son from anything and _anyone_ – including his personal whore.

**~.~**

Lately, their assignment had run a bit too personal for some of their likings but they did as the king ordered. What else could they do? They were commoners and had no real power. They did as they were ordered, nothing more, nothing less. All they could do now was wait for more orders and avoid the eyes of the prince as they glared at the boy's whore.

When would things go back to normal, the boys wondered as they arrived home, lingering by the door to the main house. They were not ready to be separated once more, they wanted to be with one another for a bit longer if only until the idea that they were not fighting anymore would sink in. But they could not. The odd looks that the soldiers, the staff and everyone in general had directed their way was enough to discourage any sort of affection and want that they might have felt.

One day, they would be able to walk down the halls of their home and not be ashamed of being together in a way that the gods wished them to be. Why else would they put love in their hearts for one another if not for them to be together? The day would soon come when the perpetrator would reveal him/herself and everything would be back to normal. But when would that be?

That was the question only one person could answer.

And that person stood in the centre of Alexander's chambers, running a thick, meaty hand through his lush dark hair. He had no reason to doubt that, after soldiers escorted Hephaestion out of the kingdom, the boy would never return. When Alexander became enraged, the boy king would be fierce and merciless in his punishments. That is something he knew by experience.

He dropped his hand a few inches from his hair to the space between his shoulder and neck were a large scar lay dormant on his otherwise perfect skin. The raised flesh was a constant reminder of his failure, his promise and his hatred. Alexander would pay for what he had done and now, thanks to a generous and malicious 'employer' he would have the chance to seek his revenge. If only his employer wanted the boy's death…

No.

The downfall of working for someone was that they dictated what he could or could not do. Hurting the prince was a 'could not'. Whilst hurting the boy the prince loved above all was a 'could'. He would work around it, he would hurt the prince by hurting the boy he loved.

Already he had taken a sick pleasure at watching the two idiots running around the palace like chickens* with their heads cut off. It had been funny, for him. His employer found it distasteful.

All he cared about was making the boy prince suffer. That was it.

The worst was yet to come, he thought as his hand stroked the flesh. Prepare yourself, _prince_.

**~.~**

A few days later, Hephaestion walked into class with a bright smile on his face. His mood was up considerably now that he and Alexander had reconciled. They had made a plan last night as they laid down a bedded seat on the balcony watching the sky shine with hundred and hundreds of lights. They had woken up together, tangled up in each others body like lovers after a busy night. The queen had woken them up, a bright smile on her face and a servant behind her setting up a large table for their breakfast. She had sat down with them, listening to their woes with a sour look on her face and kind words of advice.

"Plan for the worse, my dears," she told them. "This _fiend _could escalate should he find his plans have been ruined. Watch yourselves, each other and those around you. Be vigilant at all times."

She had left them alone shortly thereafter, waiting for the servants to clean up and leaving the boys with a kind smile that, once the door was closing, changed into chagrin. Hephaestion had seen the look in the queen's eyes as Alexander had spoke about their suspicions. He was sure she knew something. If she did, she would no doubt confront the man responsible to stop anything else from happening. He trusted her as much as he trusted Alexander. He had no choice but to trust the Queen; she seemed to be the only one on their side.

Now, well rested and ready, Hephaestion entered the class and sat down by his usual seat. He waited. His classmates gave him looks of pity as he occupied himself with cleaning dirt from under his nails. No one approached him, no one spoke, and no lingering looks just glances that quickly looked away with disinterest.

Alexander arrived a few minutes later, sitting down next to Hephaestion and letting out a deep sigh. Theatrics, Hephaestion knew, in order to get the attention of their fellow classmates. He got them, their interests peaked as the prince sighed once more, stretching his arms over his head and bringing one of them to rest on Hephaestion's shoulder. He brought the boy closer to him, their bodies barely a hair width apart and leaned forward to plant a small chaste kiss on his cheek.

Hephaestion smiled and looked down. The kiss had not been part of the plan but it had not been unwelcomed. He chanced a glance up at the others in the room and saw surprise and show etched on their faces. He smiled. It didn't rule any of them out. Time for step two.

**~.~**

_How dare he? How dare Alexander kiss that – that _thing_ in front of everyone? What does he think he is doing bestowing such present on the likes of... Hephaestion?_

_Did he appreciate the gesture? No. he looked away, glancing at those around him as if baiting me to jump out on the open and tear his despicable face off with my bare hands. I wanted to – Gods, did I want to – but managed to refrain myself from doing do for _his_ sake._

_Alexander is still attached to his little whore. He would never care for me should I claw Hephaestion's face off to show how much more I appreciate him that his whore. And that is all he is._

_Yes._

_A whore. Nothing else._

_A plaything for Alexander to occupy his time whilst he realizes who he is truly meant to be with._

_Me._

**~.~**

He put his pen down, rubbing his face harshly with a trembling hand. He was utterly defeated, his confidence lower than the pits of hell even if his writing revealed the opposite. He always managed to sound so tough and put together in writing, but in reality he was at the end of his rope. After that display of affection, he managed to go through class like nothing had happened whilst on the inside his temper boiled.

No one would ever think to even look his way. He could not – _would_ not, he corrected – speak to Prince Alexander and bring suspicions upon himself. Not even if the King himself ordered him to speak to the young man, he would not.

Articulate in writing but not in presence, he was the perfect disguise. No one would suspect him for he was silent, he was ever vigilant, seen but not heard and that was the perfect cover up all in itself. It had all been too easy, too simple to break them apart, now if only they would remain that way.

Already he knew what he had to ultimately do. Soon enough he would have his revenge and he would bring Alexander down on his knees begging for forgiveness.

Soon enough, Hephaestion would be no more.

**~.~**

Queen Olympias was a woman of action and nothing warranted more action than what was plaguing her young son and his friend. Disturbed by their stories, she immediately set out to look for the wrongdoer already having a few people in mind of who could – and would – dare to do this. At the top of her list lay the one person who had the least to gain and therefore had the most opportunity to do so: the King.

Phillip was a tough king, often rowdy and murderous upon waking up from bed after a bad dream. His advisors, most notably, Black Cleitus, did nothing to stop his raging temper, ravenous hunger for death or need for revenge. In fact, they encouraged it often joining in on the hunt. Olympias had no doubt that he was behind the plot of systematically destroying her child's spirit.

Having always considered Alexander as a weakling for spending time with his mother rather than with his goons, the king had long since given up on shaping him into the mini-Phillip he had always wanted. Alexander wasn't someone who would follow Phillip around, trailing behind like some weak minded little urchin, he was his own person and would rather disobey a direct order than do something that was out of his moral code. For such a young person, he had a strict and quite a complex code of ethics. He did what he thought was right in his own mind and no one else. Well, perhaps no one but Hephaestion.

Hephaestion was the one person who could influence Alexander. It was the one person who the young prince trusted with his life. Every secret was shared between the two, their bond going beyond that of friendship. It was a bond that Olympias could only imagine. It was nothing short of a miracle that he had found someone at such a young age that could be his lifelong confidant. Olympias only hoped that it would indeed be lifelong and not short-lived, as some may want it. She would make sure of that with every ounce of her being. Her son had found his Patroclus and she wasn't going to stand around and let some unknown villain taken him away.

And she knew exactly where to start.

She headed, without invitation, to the king's chambers with an armful of guards. She was not stupid. She knew that the king would be furious at her interruption of his morning meetings. But she was also not a patient woman. Arriving at the chambers, she made a sweeping motion with her arms to order the guards around her to open the doors. They opened the door, stepping in ahead of her to form a sort of wall between herself and the men who turned to look at her as she entered. The king, sitting at the center of the room in his throne, eyed her suspiciously as she strode through the now parting crowd of men.

He did nothing as she stood in front of him, eyes never leaving his, and yelled, "Get. Out."

The men who had been idly standing, watching the Queen and waiting for a reaction, sprinted into action, leaving the room in record time. Only Black Cleitus remained, ever so loyal to the King. The Queen, so used to the close friendship between the two men, ignored his presence and took another step towards the man in front of her.

The King looked annoyed but was strangely intrigued if she was reading the glint in his eyes correctly. He wanted to know what was on her mind, wanted to turn her thoughts against her in yet another battle of wits to demean her and what she stood for. It was nothing new, the verbal (and physical) abuse he inflicted upon her. But she never gave in, always fought, especially when it was to do with her precious son. Finally, the King spoke, his eyes roaming the room rather than looking at Olympias.

"What do you want?" He asked, bored.

"Do you take a sick pleasure in watching your son be as unhappy as you?" Olympias said, straight to the point as always. "Huh? Do you get off on his unhappiness? Or is this another one of your warped lessons?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I _know_ it is you," Olympias spat. "Do not _try_ and tell me otherwise."

"And what, pray tell, are you accusing me off?"

"Alexander and Hephaestion have been receiving letters of lies which are driving them apart."

"Childish matters."

"Childish, indeed," she answered snidefully. "It has your name written all over it, _my_ _king_."

"Woman," Phillip said rising from his seat, "what do you want?"

"Whatever you intend for Alexander cannot - _must_ not - cost him his best and closest friend," Olympias began, "You may not see him as your heir but he is. Driving him apart from those he loves will not make him come crawling on his hands and knees begging to be taken in by you. In fact, it will drive him away." King opened his mouth to say something but she continued, stopping whatever comment he was about to make. "It was _I_ who he came to with this problem, not you. It is _I_ who he will come to once more when something plagues his mind or heart. There is nothing _you_ can do to stop that."

"You and your snakes have poisoned my child against me!" Phillip hissed. "You've made sure he despises me and now, you accuse me of wanting to do what? To tear him away from his friend? Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous."

"He is much more than a friend to Alexander. I see that and surely someone as high and mighty as you would as well."

"Their ... relation is of no matter to me," the king said. "I know not of what you speak."

"Denial will only get you so far," Olympias spat as she exited the room, her guards following behind.

**~.~**

Phillip looked at his right-hand man and grunted. _Damn, Olympias! How dare he accuse him of such childish things? Only a woman would think of this,_ he thought. Black Cleitus neared him, placing a thick hand on his shoulder and snapping him out of his thoughts. Phillip turned, following the dense fingers up to a muscular arm sprinkled with dark hair connecting to the equally muscular shoulder and, eventually, to the deep dark eyes of his best and dearest friend.

They didn't speak; their eyes connected and spoke volumes that mare words could not express. Phillip tapped Cleitus' hand; squeezing his hand showing him how much he appreciated the gesture. He felt him squeeze his hand back, a smile appearing on both men's faces. Without needing do or say anything, Cleitus nodded, bowing his head and breaking eye contact a moment before moving away.

**~.~**

He was sat under a tree with a sketchbook on his lap when a shadow claimed the sun he so desperately needed to perfectly recreate the lush lips that were that of Alexander. Ready to bark the man out of his sunlight when his eyes traced the sinewy muscles of a dark haired coated leg. He knew who this was.

_Damnit._


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **Woah man... woah my muse has gone nuts. Let me know what you think.

* * *

><p>"The king wishes to speak to you," a deep voice commanded.<p>

"I have no desire to do the same," he replied, looking back down at his sketchpad, ignoring the man above him.

"It is not a request. Get up or I shall pick you up," Cleitus threatened.

"And make a scene? Now, that would draw suspicions, don't you think? Especially with the prince and his _thing_ right over there."

"Come with me," Cleitus threatened again.

"No."

"Yes." Cleitus grabbed him, pulling him towards the centre of the courtyard, past Alex and Hephaestion who were sitting near a stream running through the courtyard.

He took his chance, pulling against Cleitus in an effort to get away and draw the attention of the two boys. "You cannot do this!" He yelled. "Let go of me! I demand you to let go of me!

"Unhand him, Cleitus," Alexander commanded as they pass by. Hephaestion remained seated, curiosity in his eyes. He watched as Alexander stood up, eyes set on Cleitus. "I will not repeat myself, Cleitus."

"I do _not_ take orders from you, _princeling_," Cleitus spat.

"I demand that you unhand him. Now. Or shall we take this up with father and waste his valuable time in a squabble that could so easily be resolved if you take your hands of off him?"

"I do not do this for you, _prince. _Watch yourself."

"Thank you, my prince, I -"

"You need not thank me. I could not stand by and see that brute manhandle you as he did so. I, myself, know how his beefy hands feel upon my skin. They are not a nice feeling. I do not wish it upon anyone."

"I - I do not know what to say."

"Say nothing. Continue on with your … sketches? Perhaps one day you can draw me as a thank you."

"Yes, my prince."

There was a pause where Alexander contemplated him, his rich brown eyes searched his face and found nothing that satisfied him. The boy said nothing, his gaze falling to the floor between them as Alexander spoke once more.

"You and I used to be so close," Alexander said with a sigh, "what happened?"

He blinked, unsure of how to answer. Much had happened, much of which he could not - wished not - to dwell on. He was better now, better without Alexander. He didn't need him, never had. Alexander was nothing, he was everything. Yet he was stunned by the softness of Alexander's voice, the curiosity that the young prince managed to convey in one simple question. _Oh, what a magnificent prince you will be one day. If you live long enough that is. _

"I - I do not know, my prince," he finally replied, his eyes on the floor between them.

"Ah. I think I do," Alexander said with a sad chuckle. "Go on. I shan't take anymore of your time."

He turned away, glad to be rid of the unwanted company. Alexander just wanted to be the saviour, it is his fetish. He wants to be seen as the good guy when in reality he is just like his father. He believed nothing that came out of the prince's mouth, he knew better. And yet…

"Oh and, Cassander?" Alexander called out making Cassander turn back around. "Soak your wrists in hot water and salt, it will bring out the bruises without bringing out the soreness."

* * *

><p>Alexander returned to Hephaestion's side, giving his hand a tight squeeze as he sat down. Hephaestion tilted his head, wondering why Alexander would defy his father for Cassander. The boy had always been a bit… off, in Hephaestion's humble opinion and this, the way Cassander now stared at Alexander from a few dozen feet away, was not improving his assessment. He wondered out loud a moment later, asking the prince his reasoning. A smile overtook the boy's face as he answered, his voice full of pride.<p>

"Cassander once saved my life, Phai. He very nearly drowned himself in order to save me from the clutches of death," the prince explained. "I owe him my life."

The revelation surprised Hephaestion who had never heard this before. He asked for more details only to receive a pat on the back and push toward the kitchens. He let the matter go for now but he was determined to find out what had truly happened and why, for all intents and purposes, did Cassander seem to yearn to be as far away from Alexander as possible.

It wasn't just Cassander, however. There was another set of eyes which followed Alexander's movements as he walked past Hephaestion and back into the main area. Hephaestion stared at the boy, his dark hair bordered his handsome face making him look like some strange godlike child. Hephaestion had seen this boy before and yet he could not put a name to the face.

There was something odd about him, the way his eyes raked over Alexander's body, their coldness giving Hephaestion chills just by looking at him. He would have to ask Alexander if he knew the boy, perhaps there was a reason why the boy looked at the prince with disdain. Had Alexander done something? Perhaps his father had and the boy simply hated Alexander because he was the only person he _could_ hate. Or was there a much bigger, less benign reason?

Hephaestion followed Alexander a few moments later, his thoughts trailing off as he jogged to catch up to the young prince. He caught up, touching the prince's arm with a light touch as they walked next to one another in silence. Nothing seemed out of place as they walked through the halls, the wait staff and slaves stepping aside and averting their gazes as they passed. Hephaestion didn't like being treated as if he would hit any of them if their eyes met and yet, Alexander, walking proud and tall, didn't seem to mind.

_It's like we are two sides of the same coin_, he thought with a smile as they made it to the commons.

"What are we doing here?" Hephaestion asked.

"I thought maybe we could take a ride," Alexander replied, averting his eyes.

"Why aren't we at the stabled then?"

"We haven't got any gear, silly," Alexander teased. "Meet you back here in ten minutes ready to go?"

"All right," Hephaestion agreed.

Neither boy moved, however. They looked at one another, eyes connecting and electricity sparkling between them. They felt the eyes of the people passing around them, their voices disappearing as they took a step forward. Alexander made the first move, his eyes trailing down to Hephaestion's lips before snapping back to connect once more.

Then, the moment was over.

Alexander stepped back, coughed once and said, "meet you here in ten minutes," before running off without another word.

Hephaestion closed his eyes, treasuring the moment they had had, then snapped into action. He needed to get ready, and make sense of what had happened, and he did not have a lot of time to do so.

* * *

><p>A few feet away, the dark haired boy watched, his fists balled up.<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **I made a small change. Blame my muse. Don't hate me... I made cookies. Have some! *throws cookies and runs*

* * *

><p>Alexander waited, impatiently bouncing on the heels of his feet, for Hephaestion to make his appearance. He wondered how long it would take for the boy to get dressed in simple, plain clothes and get a few things packed for their trip. Certainly not more ten twenty minutes! And yet, the young prince waited.<p>

He briefly wondered if the small 'moment' they'd had before leaving each other's company had put off Hephaestion in any way. Perhaps he had changed his mind and he no longer wished to go out for a ride. He would have said something, send word to him about changing his mind, wouldn't he? _Yes, of course he would_, he told himself harshly, _it _is_ Hephaestion after all. He wouldn't just leave me waiting. There must be a reason why he has yet to show up. _

Deciding to check up on his friend, Alexander dropped his gear and headed the way he had seen Hephaestion go earlier. He distinctly remember Hephaestion making a left turn at the first hall, where he was going he did not know considering his room was on the opposite side of the buildings. He took that turn, knowing that it was the way to the kitchens and what his father called the 'despicable living area'. Alexander saw nothing but servants and other janitorial sorts roaming the halls, ducking into rooms and avoiding his line of sight.

They gave him a wide berth as he walked, taking in their native tongues and in rushed words as he past by them. He paid them no mind except for the casual 'hello' here and there as some of the more friendly and less scared occupants began to wonder what he was looking for.

Finally, a young girl a few years older than he, approached him. Her long dark hair, exotic half-lidded eyes and bright eyes looked at him from a far before she walked right on up to him and asked, "Do you need help, my prince?"

Alexander was taken aback by her clear voice which made her sound far older than she looked. It took him a moment to find the right words to describe the now awful feeling he felt pooling in his chest as Hephaestion's trail got colder and colder.

He was certain Hephaestion had taken this route but there seemed to be no exit other than the doors he used to enter the building. The only other doors led to bedrooms, chambers, kitchen and various storage rooms stocked full of food or foul smelling clothes. The latter had surprised the prince, when the smell reached his delicate nostrils he had recoiled back so fast he nearly tripped over the slightly elevated frame of the door. He had recovered with poise, unlike now.

"Yes," he finally said, "I am looking for my friend. He passed by here earlier and has yet to return."

"Do you mean the blue eyed boy?"

"Yes!" Alexander couldn't help but exclaim. _Finally some trace that you exist, Phai!_ "Did you see where he went?"

"The other boy led him away," the girl replied. She lifted a thin arm and pointed back to the door where Alexander had first walked through.

"What other boy?"

"The pale one with deep, dark eyes like two large coals." A shiver passed through the girl, her hand falling to her side and wrapping the cowl around her body tighter. "He is not to be trusted, my prince. Your friend is in danger."

Alexander blinked as the girl turned, returning to her previous post by a wall. Tilting his head in confusion, he tried to recall someone with dark eyes and a pale complexion. Many came to mind.

_The dark eyes could have simply been a trick of the light_, he thought. _The question is: who would lead Hephaestion away? Better yet, why would Hephaestion listen to this boy when we had plans? Is this who has been getting between us? Has he been following us? Following Phai?_

_One thing is sure,_ he thought as he exited the 'despicable' area, _Phai is not here._

He searched the entire compound and it's adjacent buildings for Hephaestion with the help of some soldiers. He trusted these men, the knew they feared and respected him enough to be trusted with his life. Neither Alexander nor the soldiers, however, found any trace of Hephaestion.

Alexander wasn't about to give up. As night fell, he sent word to the night watchmen to keep an eye out for suspicious activities, for any strange movements and not to allow anyone - no matter how important - to leave the grounds without being searched properly.

At the moment it sounded like a good idea; his mind was on finding his best friend.

Early the next day, his father burst into his room and demanded answers. Luckily, his mother had been with him, 'hatching a new plan' as his father would yell as he departed, his questions unanswered by either Olympias or Alexander. She assured him Hephaestion would be found, she would see to that herself. He believed her but that didn't stop him from worrying about the health and whereabouts of his best friend and possible lover.

"He's got to be here, mother," he insisted as they looked over a map of the grounds. "Somewhere…"

"We will find him, my love," she cooed, "Phai will be in your arms soon."

* * *

><p>Hephaestion awoke to deafening silence. His eyes were covered, a band tied around his head to prevent him from seeing anything but darkness. His wrists were bound by what felt like leather ties, his feet as well judging by his inability to move them more than a few centimeters apart. He felt his arms touch the sides of his torso, felt the cold floor as it met his legs and thighs and, he gulped as the realization hit, the rest of his naked body.<p>

He tried to sit up only ending up laying sideways and being tired out from the effort. _That riding sure does sound pleasant right about now,_ he thoughts. There was nothing covering his mouth, thankfully, and so he was able to call out a few times before his ears picked up the sound of someone approaching.

If only it was someone who was going to help him.

* * *

><p>His kidnapper has seen his opportunity and seized it. Following close behind, he managed to sneak after Hephaestion whilst concocting the perfect lie to get him away from the common areas and into the more solitary parts of the grounds: the dungeons.<p>

Everyone assumed that the dungeons were only assessable by the guards and a few select members of the king's entourage. Thankfully, his father was one of them. He was equally as thankful to have a drunken father who misplaced things all the time and would not miss a missing pair of keys. He ran his pale hands through his dark hair and let out a sigh. _If I could only harm you the way you have harmed me,_ he thought as he looked upon the silhouette of his captive.

"H-hello?" Hephaestion called out, his perfect voice echoing with perfection against the dungeon walls. "Hello? Anyone?"

He did nothing. Keeping his movements to a minimum, he managed to get to Hephaestion without startling the young man. By the time Hephaestion seemed to hear his steps, he was already close to him, a mere foot away from him, fists at his side as he tried to keep himself under control.

_Must not loose it. This whore deserves not my pity nor my hatred. With him out of the way, ready for conditioning… I can work on Alexander. He will love me soon enough._

* * *

><p><em>I need to get out of here, <em>Hephaestion thought pulling at the leather ties that bind his wrists. He pushed and pulled but to no avail. The ties where unbendable, they chafed his skin but would not slide one way or another without leaving a hot trail of pain in their wake. The only thing he could think of, shuddering at the mere thought actually, was to dislocate one of his thumbs and squeeze his hands out. Once they were freed, he could work on the binds of his feet and remove the covering over his eyes. Maybe then, he could figure out why he was tied up, naked, and alone. He could think of no rational, reasonable reason as to why he would be treated this way.

No explanation came to mind as he mentally prepared himself for the on coming pain and shock that was sure to explode through his body when he-

"If you plan to break your fingers," a voice suddenly said somewhere to his left, "I will advice you that I have other means of tying you up and making sure you don't escape. This was the… less painful option of them all."

"Who are you?" Hephaestion demanded. "Why am I here? Where am I?"

"This is your reward," the voice answered sharply. "_This_ is your reward for all your evil deeds. This is what you and your kind deserve. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Who are you?" Hephaestion repeated. "Where am I?"

"I am your jailer," the voice replied cryptically. "For now."

"Please just let me-"

"-He looks for you even now as we speak," the voice interrupted. "He has searched for nearly ten hours straight. His mother at his side, a few soldiers and the staff have all volunteered in this search party for you. He must really love you to waste such resources on you."

"Alexander?"

"Who else?! He is yours and you are his, isn't that what they say? Hmm? Two bodies sharing the soul meant for one? The reincarnates of the fabled Achilles and Patroclus. Hmm? Is that not what they speak?"

Hephaestion remained still for a long pause. He thought through what the voice said, whoever it was sounded… jealous. Maybe if he prodded…

"I am," he declared proudly. "I care for him as much as he does for me. We are together and no_thing_ and no_-one_, not even you, will keep us apart. Not even death."

"Fool," the voice spat at him before Hephaestion was struck in the head and blacked out.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, after Olympias retired to her chambers, Alexander sat behind his desk and looked over a maps of the grounds and its surrounding areas. His friends had rallied around him at his time of need and, with many of them being employed by the king or taught by the smartest of men, they spotted many locations where Hephaestion might have gone.<p>

There were many possibilities as to his disappearance. Some thought he had simply gone for a walk ahead of Alexander and had fallen asleep or perhaps have gotten injured. With that in mind, Alexander planned to ask the guardians of the grounds for assistance. They, knowing every inch of the boundaries, could keep an eye out during their rounds. Another possibility, one that Alexander fear the most, was kidnapping.

It wasn't uncommon within the country sides for males to steal females during the night or when they were unguarded and make off with them. Similarly, enemies of the crown took important members to the king to make him suffer and perhaps offer up a mighty high reward for the finding of the captive. The problem was… Hephaestion was neither a woman or important to the King. He was important to Alexander.

Olympias, after the impromptu meeting, had a thought on that. She wondered if perhaps Hephaestion had been taken to teach Alexander a lesson. She had a look of suspicion in her eyes, a look that looked as dangerous as it did deadly. She would pursue that lead herself, she told him. He did not object to that.

A knock on Alexander's chambers brought him out of his thoughts. Thankful for the interruption, he pushed his heat back and stood, stretching as he reached for the door. His heart stilled for a moment as the thought that maybe, just _maybe,_ on the other side of the wooden separator stood Hephaestion safe and sound. If only it were so.

"Nicolaos, what brings you by this late in the day?"

"My prince," Nicolaos bowed. "I came to offer my humble services."

"Services?"

"Are you not in need of more able bodied soldiers to seek out your friend?"

"You are not a soldier, Nicolaos."

"It does not mean I cannot help, Alexander."

The young prince looked Nicolaos over. They had been friends, once, long before. They had been a trio along with Cassander when they had been younger. His father had called them a gang, dangerous and unwanted. Soon after that comment, Nicolaos' father was sent away, his family thrown with them. And Cassander was warned, even after saving Alexander's life, to stay away or risk having an accident. Or so his mother told him once he was old enough. By that time, Hephaestion had become his other half and the thought of having to share his time with others sounded… unrealistic. Besides, they had grown much since their gang broke up. They were no longer children.

"What services did you have in mind?" He asked after a moment of thought. "What can you offer?"

"I know the dungeons pretty well," Nicolaos replied quickly. "I can search them."

"That would be great," Alexander said, having not thought of searching the dungeons before. "Thank you."

Alexander made to close the door but Nicolaos pushed it back open with the palm of his hand. Annoyed, Alexander tried to keep his face calm as he waited for the boy to speak.

"I also wanted to offer my services as your friend," Nicolaos said. "I realize we have… we have fallen apart the last few years but I still care for you, my prince. I wouldn't want to see you fall ill during this time of distress."

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself-"

"I did not mean to imply otherwise," Nicolaos interjected quickly. "I merely meant that, in your time of need, you need someone to … be with you."

"I have someone-"

"That someone, if I may be so bold, is missing and you are falling to pieces in his absence. You are the future king of Macedonia. How will you expand our kingdom if you are worried about a wh- worried about Hephaestion?"

As much as it pain him to admit so, Nicolaos was right. He _was_ to be the heir to the throne. He could not be seen as weak by his father or his opponents. Already having Olympias as a mother was a black stain on his political career, according to his father. This desperation would only bring more doubt over his abilities as a level headed leader to the eyes of his father.

"My page has recently disappeared," Alexander said. "If it isn't too shameful, you may take his post and help organize the search parties with me."

"Thank you," Nicolaos said erupting in another bow. "I will do my best to please you in every way."

"You may start tomorrow," Alexander said quickly shutting the door before Nicolaos could stop him.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **I have been without internet for a bit. Not beta'd.

* * *

><p>Nicolaos watched as Alexander's chest rose and fell in perfect little huffs as the air left his lungs. He watched, enthralled, as Alexander licked his lips, his pink tongue slipping out to wet the lips that he now owned. Lush lips that now belonged to him, Nicolaos, and no one else but him. Oh how it felt to be included in his beloveds plans, to be an important member of his team and be looked upon for direction as his right hand man. It felt wonderful, it felt <em>right.<em>

Now, all that was left was… the whore. Cassander had to reeducate him in the strictest of manners. It was the only way. Only then would Hephaestion be out of Alexander's life and by the side of Cassander where he belonged. Snakes belonged with their own kind, after all, not with the king of the jungle.

He watched Alexander inhaled sharply. Worried that his presence had been discovered, he hastily retreated away from the young man's bed, heading for the door. If only he had been quicker, more agile and far less hearing capable to not hear the small sigh and the words that escaped Alexander's mouth as Nicolaos left. He stilled, anger rushing forth as he tried (and failed) ignore the words. They would not leave his mind even as he exited the room, stomping away from the prince as he whispered, "Come back to me, my Patroclus."

Enraged, he did what any normal human being would do. He went out, marched right up to where he was keeping Hephaestion and, waking him up like the whore that he was, proceeded to have some fun.

* * *

><p>The next day, as Alexander wondered about his room preparing for the oncoming storm that he, as he told Nicolaos many times as he paced back and forth, knew was coming. He <em>felt<em> that they had made no progress overnight, that Hephaestion was still lost to him. He _felt_ lost himself, the young man admitted in a rare show of vulnerability. Privileged to be there for that moment, Nicolaos decided to be kind and give the poor boy some hope.

He marched on, letters in his pockets to different 'stations' that Queen Olympias had set up around the grounds as points of interest. She set up dozens of them, warily looking at her increasingly hysterical son as she wrote up commands and dispatched to the captains of the sectors. Everyone was on the lookout for anyone fitting Hephaestion's description. Or they would be… as soon as Nicolaos delivered the letters.

Which he was, he wouldn't dare risk Alexander finding out if he didn't deliver the letters, he wouldn't _dare_ loose Alexander so soon after getting him back, after he made a quick stop or two.

* * *

><p>Two stops turned into three and soon enough, much to his satisfaction and Alexander's chagrin, it was night fall and far too late for people to be out and about. The guards had missed their chance to stop any potential Hephaestion look-a-likes.<p>

_Oh, well_, Nicolaos thought, _guess it'll just wait one more day. It's not like he is grave danger or anything._

"Where were you?" Alexander demanded, his voice sounded tired beyond his years, siting behind his desk, hands rubbing at his eyes. Nicolaos approached him, schooling a look of worry and shame upon his face as he did. The prince looked ill, his face having gone hollow from all the nights of not sleeping and not eating.

_It's been two days, my sweet prince, and yet you sound and look as if he has been missing for years. What a hold he must have on you to get you in this state. No matter, he is to be gone soon and it shall be only you and I. Alone. As it should be_, Nicolaos thoughts as he laid a hand on Alexander's shoulder, leaning down to check on him.

Alexander pulled back, standing up from his seat and moving toward the balcony. Nicolaos counted to three before following, standing a few feet away from the prince and looking out into the city in front of him. The usually bustling streets were empty, the darkness of the night driving people inside into the security of their homes. The bright moon overhead shone upon the rooftops, illuminating everything yet nothing. Nicolaos loved the night, it was as beautiful as it was deadly.

He turned towards Alexander, taking in the way the moonlight shadowed the boy's features giving him a glimpse of the man he was to be one day. And what a sight he saw!

Shaking out of his thoughts, Nicolaos said, "We will find him, my prince. Even with my folly tonight, he will be found. Sooner or later, Hephaestion _will_ appear."

"Yes. But will it be too late?"

"I don't understand. Do you think he will return harmed?"

"I think," Alexander said after a pause, "that whoever took him has no remorse. He wanted me to know Hephaestion was gone, wanted me to know he had taken Phai in broad day light simply because he could. Whoever did this has no love for me or Hephaestion. Men like that are the most dangerous."

Nicolaos leaned on the balcony, his teeth clenched as he said, "Perhaps it is the opposite."

"The opposite? What, that he cares for me and therefor took Hephaestion for my benefit?" Alexander chuckled humorlessly. "If so, he is as stupid as he is cautious."

"Does having Hephaestion in your life really make it that much better, Alexander? What is one human to another but flesh and bones, after all."

"Speaking as someone who has never fallen in love," Alexander replied sadly. "He is so much more to me than you will ever know, Nicolaos. Much more than even _I_ can dare to find out."

"He means that much to you, my prince?"

Alexander didn't pause and he replied with a nod. He looked down at his hands and said, "Yes. He does."

"I see."

* * *

><p>Alexander woke up feeling as alone and lost as when he had fallen asleep. He was at his desk, or as he now called it, <em>his bed<em>, with papers on the verge of spilling over the edges and ink drenching what papers were properly pilled on it. He wondered how long he had been asleep for. Not long judging by the direction the sun shone through his balcony.

He sat up, stretching to wake his tightly coiled muscles from their slumber. Letting out a long sigh, he proceeded to pick up the sheets that were on the floor, taking great care not to spill anymore as he deposited them back on the desk. He sighed once more, wishing that the last few days were all but a dream. It would not be so, he knew that. It didn't stop him from begging the gods, however.

His sadness had turned inwards, blaming himself for Hephaestion's disappearance. If only he hadn't suggested the horse ride, Phai would be with him, at his side, touching his arm soothingly as Alexander looked out into the vast city in front of him. But he had and therefor Hephaestion had been taken, prisoner, hostage or worse, it was still unclear to him. What was clear was that he was gone and Alexander didn't know what to do.

"Alexander?"

Startled, he turned, squinting his eyes to look at the intruder in his room. For a moment his heart beat faster thinking it was Hephaestion, newly freed and with one purpose in mind, to see Alexander. It wasn't.

Nicolaos stood at his door, a tray in his hands. He entered the prince's room, setting the tray down on a nearby table. He tsked at the spilled ink and the multitude of papers on his desk. Alexander turned fully to face Nicolaos, anger rising in his chest.

"What are you doing here so late?" He demanded. "You should not be here at this hour."

Nicolaos bowed his head. "I do apologize, Alexander. I was bringing you some food for when you woke. I did not want you to be elsewhere should any news of Hephaestion come. I just go -"

"Don't," Alexander interrupted. "I'm sorry. I'm tightly wound today, it seems." He took a few steps forward, touching Nicolaos' arms on the way to the table. He looked at the tray the young man had brought and smiled. His favorites. He turned back to Nicolaos, "I apologize for snapping at you, my friend."

"No apologies necessary, Alexander," Nicolaos replied, his voice sincere. "I just want what is best for you. I hope, in the future, you learn to trust me."

"I do trust you, Nicolaos. It is just… with Hephaestion missing I can't… It's like a part of me is gone, a part that I need to continue living."

"Then I will increase my efforts to find him and urge those who find this task a waste of time." Nicolaos turned to leave but was stopped by Alexander's voice.

"There are some who find this… who?"

"You must not worry, Alexander. They will be taken care off."

"Why do they think this way?" Alexander asked, his eyes on the tray. "Do you think… is this search fruitless?"

"If I may speak honestly?" Alexander nodded. "I believe that, given your close relation with Hephaestion, you might be a bit overzealous and eager to send out men to find him. They think he simply ran away, leaving you behind in order to spare you the humiliation of a break up."

"Have I been - I have to find him, Nicolaos."

"I know, Alexander, I know. But perhaps this is not the best method. Your soldiers have scoured every inch of this building and those adjoined to it. There is no trace of him."

"He wouldn't just leave without - we were going riding for gods sakes."

Alexander stepped away, retreating to the comfort of the porch where he and Hephaestion had shared many nights together watching the moon and it's stars as they past by. He felt Nicolaos follow, standing as close as Hephaestion would have.

Nicolaos was the only one he could trust it seemed. Even the soldiers were against him. His own men were so eager to dismiss this urgent matter to a simple act of a lovers quarrel. How simple minded, really. There was something sinister at play, he could feel it.

The young girls words came floating back, her voice ringing in his head as if warning him against the evil man who had taking his love away from him.

"I will not give up," he finally said. "But perhaps you are correct. I am too close to this."

"I have a suggestion, if I may?" Alexander nodded his head. "Let me lead this search for Hephaestion. I am close with the guards and can persuade -"

"Yes," Alexander interrupted. He turned to Nicolaos and begged him, "Find me Hephaestion, whatever you must do, just find me Hephaestion."

"I will, my prince," Nicolaos promised. He bowed, leaving Alexander to his thoughts.

There was only one person he could trust now, Nicolaos.

* * *

><p>Cassander was at his wits end. Hephaestion was missing, Alexander was despondent and Nicolaos was nowhere to be found. No matter how many messages he sent to him, Nicolaos would not respond. Tired of being ignored, he did what anyone would do in his position. He waited outside the one room in the palace that Nicolaos was bound to visit: Alexander's.<p>

His patience paid off as Nicolaos, sporting a mighty grin, existed the young prince's room, turning to head down the hall and instead, crashing into Cassander who had been sitting on the floor right by the door. Nicolaos righted himself, taking a deep breath before facing Cassander, extending a hand to help him up off the floor. Cassander took his hand without a second thought, a mistake.

With a force far greater than anyone his age should have, Nicolaos pulled Cassander with a harsh tug, their faces mere centimeters apart. The grin that had been previously occupying his face had changed to a menacing glare. For a second Cassander was scared for his life, his blood going cold as he looked into the dark eyes of the man - not a boy, this monster was _not_ a boy - that held his hand in a bone crushing grip.

"I - I've been looking for you," Cassander said in a voice that, should he not be there, he would never believe it to be his own. "You've been avoiding me, Nicolaos."

"With good reason," the other replied sharply, pushing Cassander away with a hard push.

"Nicolaos -"

"Not. Now." Nicolaos growled through clenched teeth, walking away from him. "I will find you when we need to speak, Cassander."

"We must speak now," he insisted. "We had an agreement."

"Agreements can change."

"Not unless you want your lovely prince to find out what I know."

Nicolaos stopped as the words reached his ears. He squared his shoulders and said over his shoulder, "let us speak elsewhere."

* * *

><p>Nicolaos led the young Cassander to the 'Pit' as he took to calling the dungeons that housed the miserable Hephaestion. Together they stood on the mouth of the path that would lead to the decrepit cells that housed criminals, whores, and those who had debts to pay. It wasn't particularly lit, the gift of light was only given to those who deserved it and those in the dungeons did not deserve such precious gift. As far as it went, the lack of light seemed to drive those within crazy and, if it wasn't for the proximity of others which allowed the prisoners to speak to one another, they would certainly turn rabid.<p>

Unlike most, Nicolaos knew his way around the dungeons. He could direct someone from one end to the other or from one cell to the next. If there was anything going on inside, Nicoloas would know. It was something his father ingrained in him from youth. It was proving useful now as he led Cassander inside after making sure no one followed them.

They entered, twisting and turning with the big walls and stepping on many gooey and cringeworthy things that Cassander would rather not name. Prisoners were few and far in between, many cells were empty as the two boys passed. It would be a few minutes before they would see another prisoner.

"For our sake as much as theirs," Nicolaos explained. "The king doesn't want any rebellions to form. Some are rather intelligent if not bad gamblers who don't have the money or connections to pay their debts."

They continued on for a few more minutes until Nicolaos held out a hand, barely visible in the dark light. Cassander stopped, looking around the dungeon. He knew where Hephaestion was being kept but he hadn't imagined it would be this horrid. Nicolaos slipped a key out of his pocket, opening the gate door and ushering Cassander inside.

"Do with him as you wish," Nicolaos said leaving.

* * *

><p>Someone was touching him that he was absolutely sure of. The caress, lasting mere seconds, was surprisingly gentle and soft. Yet it gave Hephaestion chills, which ran up and down his naked body. He tried to move away from the touch, pulling into himself in the position his kidanapper had last left him in, but the touch followed.<p>

He could not open his eyes; the beating he took had swollen them shut. He could feel his lip, only hours before bloody, become swollen as he tried to plead with whoever was touching him. No sound came out of his throat, too parched to even scrape together nothing above a harsh croaky whimper. He felt a finger trail over his face, tracing his injuries with the lightest of touches. This was someone knew, or his attacked was changing tactics.

He left the touch continue, allowing whomever it was to take whatever pleasure they seemed to want from him. He was too tired, hungry and weak to fight. He could do nothing. He was powerless. Just like his attacker wanted him to be.

* * *

><p>On the other side of the grounds, King Phillip watched as Nicolaos issued commands to the guards. Alexander was nowhere to be seen and Phillip didn't quite like that a simpleton like Nicolaos could gain such trust from his young son. He might have been a harsh man, but he wanted nothing but greatness from his son. A greatness that was innate within him but inert.<p>

This greatness, until fully mastered, could be easily mislead. Nicolaos was doing just that, using Alexander's boyhood against him playing his emotions to get him to do as he wished.

Phillip listened as Nicoloas gave out orders to search all outbound communication, outbound traffic and suspicious activites. He sent no sentries in localised searches, no search parties into known areas outside the kingdom where traitors hung out, no interrogators to question witnesses. All in all, he gave orders that required least amount of actual searching without seeming like the search was all but halted.

This was not Alexander's plan, Phillip knew. Alexander would not simply give up and let his friend possibly die out in the wild, at least not without a fuss or a full on search of the entire region.

Summoning Cleitus via messanger, Phillip leaned on the pillar he stood against, arms crossed observing as Nicolaos dismissed the men and began to leave. Their eyes met just as Cleitus reached his side. Phillip motioned with his hand for the young man to appraoch, the flick of his wrist conveyed nothing but the distate he felt for him.

Nicolaos gathered his things, papers were put into his satchel and handled to the page who followed him. Phillip wondered who had given him the page before realising that the boy was Alexander's.

_You are too trusting, my boy,_ he thought as Nicolas approached. _He is dangerous, anyone who looks closely enough can see the dark look in his eyes. _

"My king." The young man bowed his head. "Is there anything you need of me?"

"Only honesty, boy," the king replied. He did not wait for Nicolas' reply. "I want an update on Alexander's state of mind."

"His friend is missing, he is as anyone would be. Utterly devestated."

"Is that why you are now handling the search?"

"I suggested that he rest, yes," Nicolas said.

"While you issue orders to search the perimeter when it has been established that he was not taken -"

"We have yet to establish nothing but the fact that Hephaestion is gone and someone has taken him."

"Someone with _dark_ eyes," Phillip corrected. "Is that not what the girl said, Cleitus? A boy of dark hair and dark, evil eyes?"

"Yes," Cleitus spoke up for the first time. "He led Hephaestion away under false pretenses and he hasn't been seen since."

"What are you insinuating?" Nicoloas asked through clenched teeth. His eyes narrowed toward the king, searching his face for any traces of lies. He found none and cursed himself for not being more careful. "Are you saying that _I _took Hephaestion? What possible purpose could I have to -"

"You nearly drowned Cassander when you were children, did you not? So why is he helping you now? What fear did you drive within him that he would follow you and your plan till the end?"

"You are incorrect," Nicoloas disputed. "I have taken nothing of Alexander that he was not ready to give."

"Vulnerable as he is now, I highly doubt he is in any state to 'give' anything much less a part of himself that is generally reserved for the one man that is missing. Quite a coincidence, don't you think?"

There was a pause in which the king and Nicoloas locked eyes. Cleitus watched the change pass within the dark eyes of the young man. He tensed, ready for anything that might occur.

"If there is nothing more…" Nicoloas bowed, waiting a pause before turning away. The page scattered after his long strides, hand clutching at the satchel.

Phillip watched the young man as he moved away until he was out of sight. He turned to Cleitus then and nodded toward the direction Nicolaos had gone. Cleitus remained still, body still tense as if an attack was imminante.

Phillip wouldn't doubt Nicolaos would strike against him - or Hephaestion instead of him - but not now. Not while the words still resonated fresh in his mind. No, Nicoloas would plan out his revenge. He would strike when the time seemed right, when Phillip was alone and not with Cleitus. He knew this brand of evil - he was part of it.

"He is dangerous," Cleitus finally said. "You suspect he was the one who took young Hephaestion?"

"Oh, yes, I know him to be."

"How?"

"Who else could convince a son of mine to give up the search for his best friend if not the man who commited the deed? He is the one, Cleitus, I assure you."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **A wee bit of non-con going on. I'm letting you know know so you won't freak out. There is non-concensual touching and mentions of past rape. Nothing explicit.

* * *

><p>Queen Olympias was nothing if not astute. Ever since Hephaestion's disappearance, she had taken to watching those around Alexander. At first it was curiosity as to who would take the coveted place that was held by Hephaestion in her son's life. No one stepped up, no one seemed interested, their attention focused on finding the boy and to please Alexander rather than to take a chance and worm their way into his inner circle.<p>

Most knew of the irreplaceable bond that the two boys had. No one seemed to want to get in the middle of that._ Sentimental fools_, she thought, _life is nothing if not full of risks. _That is until one boy, Nicolaos, appeared.

He was not unknown to her. In fact, she had advised Alexander to stay away from him many years before. It didn't escape her attention the way he wormed his way through the multitude of faithful souls that at least appeared to have good intentions. She kept a close eye on him, posting a page to follow him about. The page soon returned with news that the boy did nothing out of the ordinary. Simple minded people were not meant to be taken serious, so she did not take the page's words as gospel.

After another day of observing, seeing Alexander relaxed and in the background whilst the snake that was Nikolaos took charge of the 'hunt' for Hephaestion, she had had enough.

Something was going on, something that didn't click right with her.

* * *

><p>The incident that brought about the separation between the boy was not forgotten to her as it was to Alexander. She could remember it clearly, her mind stepping out of her present body and back to that of her younger self as she watched Alexander, Cassander and Nicoloas near a river.<p>

She watched from a few feet away, a snake in a basket near her hissing intermittently as the sun blazed down upon her through the tent set up by the staff. The king was on one of his adventures, conquering parts of unknown lands or perhaps it was an excuse and he was truly with one of his many mistresses. She had long ago stopped caring. This was a marriage she had not wanted, not for a long time. The less time spent together, the better for her.

The only person who mattered was Alexander. Her precious son and, once Phillip was out of the way, the King of Macedonia. Alexander was to be the most loved and honorable king this land had ever seen. That was her vision, her goal now was getting him ready for that life.

_Phillip might think he knows what is best for Alexander but he knows nothing but how to bark out commands. Alexander is but a boy just learning the principles of life, he needs a soft hand to be his guide not a tyrant with an iron fist. That is why Alexander is mine and _only_ mine. Phillip is nothing but a mere mortal. Alexander… he is much more than that. _

Distracted by her thoughts of the future, she did not see the boys venture out into the riverriverriver, following the path it made. Even as her thoughts flew to the future, her ears heard the loud splashing sound made by Cassander as Nicolaos body slammed him into the river. The next few moments went by relatively slow thought at the time it felt as if the world had sped up.

She noticed several things at once.

First, Alexander was trying - and failing - to dislodge Nicolaos' hands from around Cassander. Second, Nicolaos was holding Cassander down under the rushing water. Third, the look on Nicolaos' face was absolutely terrifying, so much like Phillip went he fell into his cups after a battle celebration. And, finally, Cassander had stopped trashing.

She rushed forward, guards flanking her. Her only thoughts were on Alexander. The look on Nicolaos' face… Alexander could be next. She waved her arms in the boys direction, yelling for the soldiers to do something, anything. A few ran ahead, finally able to pull Nicolaos away. Olympias threw herself into the river, the cold water splashing about as she all but ran to Alexander, pulling him into her arms and embracing him.

She kissed the top of his head, moving away from a Nicolaos who had begun to thrash against the soldier who held him back. Another soldier moved to help him, while the others checked on Cassander. They pulled his body from the river, carrying him to the shore. Olympias and Alexander followed with the two men holding back Nicolaos not far behind.

"Is he going to be all right?" Alexander asked, his voice sounding younger than his decade of age. "I didn't mean it, honest, I didn't."

"We will talk about this later," she murmured, glad to have Alexander alive and well rather than on the side of the river, his face turning blue as the water suffocated him from the inside. She turned to the guards and commanded they turned Cassander on his side and pat his back. They did so and, by some miracle of the gods, Cassander coughed up the water. She turned to Alexander and said, "Go to your friend, Alexander. One must not abandon our friend in their time of need."

* * *

><p>It was those words exactly which Alexander repeated to her just hours after Hephaestion disappeared and yet again, much to her dissatisfaction this time, as she spoke to him about Nicolaos. She voiced her concerns fully aware of how little sleep and energy Alexander had.<p>

He hadn't listened to her, not this time. He was older now and thought himself a good judge of character. He was wrong, of course but should she pursue this now, while Alexander was in this state, he might turn sour toward her.

There was only one person who could help her discover the truth and that thought brought nothing but a look of vexation to her face.

* * *

><p>He didn't know when the visits really started. He was sure if was right before the incident and his recovery. All he knew was the harsh reality that someone watched him sleep, someone murmured into his ear, someone whispered into his mind until he would do anything the voice would say. The voice that turned out to be Nicolaos.<p>

He remembered finding out, being enamored with the boy - no, the man - finding the connection that they had once shared and rekindling it all over again. They lost some part of them when the _accident_ had happened, but then everything was all right again and Cassander was, for the first time in a long time, happy.

Then he changed. If only he had seen the signs earlier, the clues that screamed _stop! _

It started … well, he didn't even know. Sometimes Nicolaos would come to his room like he had for as long as Cassander could remember and, if he had been an especially good boy that day, he would get into his bed.

Cassander wasn't stupid or deaf. He knew that what they did, what Nicolaos did to him, was a natural process of life, it was expected. He just didn't count on it being expected so early in life.

He had resisted at first. The tender touches would ceased and Nicolaos would avoid him for a few days. After he had suffered enough, he would return and Cassander would be willing to do anything for his attention. Eventually, with enough visits, the touching turned into so much more.

He regretted it now, having let Nicolaos touch him, use him for his body, for his own pleasure. Cassander wanted to forget every night of the last five years. But he could not - the gods wanted him to suffer this travesty for a reason.

* * *

><p>Then he had opened his big mouth and the accident occurred. Nicolaos had been furious, his temper had exploded when Cassander revealed what they did on a nightly basis. In hindsight, Nicolaos should have expected him to say something eventually and he should have caught on that what they were doing was a bad thing when Alexander begun to yell at Nicolaos, distressed about Cassander's safety.<p>

But Cassander had thought of nothing but the anger that he had caused Nicolaos and the punishment he would receive later. Except he didn't get punished in the privacy of his own room, no.

Nicolaos' cold hands wrapped themselves around his neck, gripping him like a viper strangling its prey. He pressed, squeezing his hands together until all Cassander could do was gasp for air, his hands coming up to claw the hands away. He failed.

Then there was water. His lungs stung, his mouth opened up in hopes of getting some air into his body and, instead, letting the cold water in. Even when Alexander managed to grip Nicolaos away, the screams of others reaching Cassanders' dulled mind, it was too late. The darkness was already there, threatening to take him, swallow him whole. He would not fight it, after all, it was what Nicolaos had wanted.

* * *

><p>He had woken up to a blond head and tree bark eyes directed at him. The eyes were swollen, red around the edges, Alexander had been crying. He saw a cut on the young boys lip, the tall tale signs of having been in a fight. Alexander was an excellent fighter, he had been training for longer than most boys their age, he was surely the victor. If only the loser had known that -<p>

"Nicolaos?" Cassander croaked out. "Where is he? Is he -"

"You need not concern yourself with him any longer," Alexander answered in a voice much mature than his age. "He will never hurt you again if I have any say in it."

"You do not," Cassander had foolishly argued. "I want to see him. I want to see him!"

Alexander had bowed, his eyes falling to the ground as he stood. Just before leaving he said over his shoulder, "I am glad you are back with us, Cassander. I would have missed your friendship dearly if anything …"

Nicolaos returned and everything seemed all right with the world again.

* * *

><p>Until Hephaestion entered the picture. No one in this life or the next had the right to be that beautiful. Even at their young age, Cassander could see the traces of baby fat leave Hephaestion's face, he could picture the sharp cheekbones, the soft, plush lips and the bright blue eyes that would one day adorn the face of an older Hephaestion. He would be tall, yes, but not unreasonably so. He would be a warrior, a general in Alexander's grand army, but also someone trustworthy and admirable, someone to look up to, to admire.<p>

Aged 15, Cassander had taken to writing down everything that happened in his life, the good, the bad and the ugly. Whereas before Nicolaos invaded every essence that he was, it was Hephaestion who he wrote about constantly. For years his obssession changed and became centred around Hephaestion rather than Nicolaos. He would write his fantasies, his dreams and desires, his thoughts and, most embarrasing of all, the things he wanted Hephaestion to do to him.

It was how Nicolaos had come up with a plan. It had been one of his fantasies to lock Hephaestion in a dungeon and have his way with him. He wanted to hear the boy beg and plead to be realeased, to hear him cry out his name in protest as he touched and prodded his supple body. Wasn't that what everyone wanted? To be dominated and taken?

Nicolaos' plan brought the object of his desire to him for him to do as he pleased. It was how he ended up here in the dungeon gently stroking the soft skin of Hephaestion's collarbone. Without Nicolaos he would have never dared to approach Hephaestion, let alone touch him like this, his eyes grazing the exposed skin, the dips and curves of his pale body.

He would have never dared to lean down and run his tongue over Hephaestion's neck, licking and sucking at his pressure points. He would have never dared to reach down and run his hands up Hephaestion's body, stroking his thighs and following the curve of his pelvis and between his legs. He would've never dared to touch him in such intimate ways. Never.

But Nicolaos had taught him well, he had many techniques at his disposal and he knew them all thanks to the other boy. He mentally thanked Nicolaos as he began to undress, his mind already thinking of ways to make Hephaestion scream out in both pleasure and pain.

With a smile on his young face, a smile he had seen on Nicolaos' face many times, Cassander got to work.

* * *

><p>Nicolaos continued on as he always did, his attention divided between that of Alexander and Cassander. Although his thoughts were generally on Alexander, he would keep tabs on the young Cassander whilst simultaneously avoiding him. Their little dance had lasted long enough and now it was time for a new dancing partner. It was why he had secured Hephaestion away from the sweet Alexander, why he brought along Cassander for the long journey, which they were only just embarking.<p>

He went on with his daily rituals, his mind drifting away only briefly to the King's words. Did they mean he knew what Nicolaos was up to? Did they mean that he was about to be exposed? Or was it an empty threat hidden behind a veil of the mighty king's heavy-handed nature?

All Nicolaos was sure about was that he needed to be more careful.


	18. Chapter 18

If the King knew something, he kept it to himself. Queen Olympias did the only thing she could do in this situation; she kept tabs on everything and everyone who came into contact with Nicolaos. Including, unfortunately, her son who seemed to Nicolaos' slave than anything else. She found nothing at first, but soon Nicolaos began to act suspiciously.

The day would start as it always did with a meeting of the generals alongside the king. It seemed that Phillip didn't mind having the wayward lad at his side rather than Alexander. The reason seemed rather obvious; he seemed to agree with Phillip far more than Alexander would on a daily basis. Not that it really mattered, the choices made by Alexander's proxy would make little impact on the overall decisions, it was the King's final say which made the choice in the end. But, sitting little ways away from the king, Olympias saw the looks exchanged between the two men.

Never once did the men standing before them question Nicolaos involvement at all. It seemed no less odd then say, the Queen being in the chambers and yet, she was still given looks of derision when she entered. The only one who seemed to notice the elephant in the room was Olympias and that did not sit right with her.

The looks went on for several minutes until finally she could not take it anymore. She stood. The entire room went silent as the queen moved about, leaving the space in a flair of huffs. This was infuriating.

She was sure that the two were working together but now she had to find another accomplice. And that would be difficult…

A challenge, she thought, a challenge I will happily take on if it brings back the light to Alexander's eyes.

* * *

><p>She remained vigilant, her spies tracing every move Nicolaos made within the kingdom. There was nothing she did not know about the boy, every move was recorded for her eyes only. Olympias continued to monitor the boy even after getting the minimal out of the surveillance.<p>

After meetings, breakfast would be served in Alexander's chambers where Nicolaos would join him and recall the events of the meetings. Alexander would listen, his mind elsewhere as Nicolaos talked animatedly, like a child starved for attention. From what her spies told her, Alexander would only nod and make affirmative sounds, not once during the course of breakfast, and later lunch, did it move to more than that. Olympias' spies watched as Nicolaos left, leaving Alexander alone for the rest of the day, it was there things began to worry the Queen.

He would do nothing but remain in his bed; books strayed about him placed there by Nicolaos, for the entirety of the day. This worried the Queen but it would not be placed on her priority list. Perhaps… this was Phillip's plan? To destroy Alexander and reshape him into the son he always wanted?

That would have to wait, unfortunately, Nicolaos was the main problem, if he remained, and Alexander would never return to his old self.

In the evening, Nicolaos would retire to his bedchamber, one he allocated for himself by displacing Alexander's page. It was unclear what he did inside, as Olympias spies were unable to go into the room. It was off limits to anyone but Nicolaos and it would need to be broken into whilst the boy was busy in order to go inside.

That would be in the morning, her spies promised her as they relayed the information for the day.

* * *

><p>Later that night, the Queen was reading when a knock came to her door. One of her servants came in, stepping to the side as the King brushed past him. Olympias dismissed the servant, turning back to the book in her hands. Phillip paced, his face set in a grimace, for a long time. The chains in his uniform jiggled together as he walked back and forth until the Queen could no longer read. She slammed the book closed and turned to Phillip.<p>

"What do you want?"

"Alexander… how is he?"

Olympias blinked before answering vaguely, "he has been better. I doubt you care very much, seeing as you now have a child at your side."

"This _child_ as you say," Phillip began, "is grating my nerves. He has an input in every single thing discussed, an idea on how it could be improved, a thought in every word spoken. How dare he?!"

"How dare he, indeed," Olympias muttered. "I do not know what this has to do with me. Get to the point of leave my chambers at once."

"He reminds me of you, in a way."

Olympias did a double take. She stood up. "How _dare_ you!"

"I am in need of your…" he paused in search of a word. After a few moments he snarled, "skills."

Olympias raised an eyebrow and asked, walking away from Phillip in a calmly matter, "What skills would that be, exactly? I have many to speak of."

Phillip followed the Queen as she walked to the balcony, his hands clasped behind his back. They stood in solitary silence for a long pause. An intake of breath from Phillip was the only indication of what was to follow. "I cannot take another day of having a - a _child_ question my every move. Alexander - my own blood - is one thing but this - this _peasant_ is not my blood."

"He may not be your blood but he is Alexader's proxy."

"Proxy only after his emotions took hold," Phillip spat. "Emotions that _you_ taught him."

"I believe you will find that nature gave us emotions for a reason," Olympias corrected. "Emotions you currently are displaying. But I understand what you are trying to, cruely, imply."

A pause.

"We have become complacent, have we not?"

"You more than I," Olympias jeered. "He is our son. Our complacency towards one another should not extend to him."

"Agreed. Now, what are to do?"

* * *

><p>Cleitus doesn't often worry about the King but in this case he would be a fool not to be concerned. Less than a month ago, Phillip was convinced that Cassander was at the root of the problem and Nicoloas was only a pawn. A week ago, those roles changed. A few days ago, he now believed Nicolaos kidnapped Hephaestion to gain favour. But then, a few hours ago, did he go into the Queen's chambers, anger clear on his face, only to return in high spirits. When questioned, Phillip revealed nothing, just a sly smile on the warrior's features. Cleitus did not like it.<p>

He would just have to wait, it seemed, until the time was right and Phillip was ready to speak. The time, it seemed, was later that night.

"Cleitus," Phillip acknowledged him as he entered the room. "It has been a long day."

"Good thing it is about to end," Cleitus commented, his hand coming up to run a hand through his long black hair. He watched Phillip cross the room, his stride betraying nothing about his age. Cleitus followed him as the King sat down on one of the many couches decorating his ready room. He sat down, at an equal distance, and sighed softly. "Would you like to be alone tonight?"

Phillip smiled. "I would enjoy a nice chat, if you don't mind."

Cleitus shook his head. "I would enjoy nothing more." He waited a moment, counting the breaths it took for him to gain the courage to ask. He was getting old if he needed to count to fifteen before his courage decided to make an appearance. "What did the Queen say to your … visit this evening?"

"She is on board with our plan," Phillip informed him.

"What plan would this be?"

"What plan, he asks, ha!" Phillip huffed loudly. "The plan, my dear Cleitus, to bring Hephaestion home."


End file.
